Child at Heart
by Rosabell
Summary: From Yami and Yugi's Prospective. The two meet Seto Kaiba one day and realize something has changed. Both feel apprehensive, and wanted to help him. But what exactly is wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 1  
  
" You don't understand." He always says. And he is right. We don't understand. We never understood, and maybe we never will.  
  
" You don't understand." He says, and that is true. There is so much we didn't know. How can we understand?  
  
And he has the right to hate us. He has the right to scorn us, to rage against us in his fury. He has the right to do anything in the name of loneliness and despair. Because the pain of not being understood is one of the most unbearable forces there is.  
  
" You don't understand."  
  
  
  
It really wasn't because we didn't try. He was always so distant, caring only for his little brother, who also does not understand. We never knew he was only fifteen years old. We never knew that he was depressed. Sure, we knew that he was young; he was an orphan, burdened with the responsibilities of taking care of a younger sibling as well as handling business. But still we didn't understand. No one does. A person like him is rare. Rare to behold.   
  
Darn it!  
  
" You don't understand." Do you have any idea how frustrating those three words are? When one tries their best and still doesn't understand, the patience wears thin. For both sides. We don't understand. And we knew it. It wasn't because we didn't try. We just couldn't. It wasn't because of any other reason. Sure, we knew that he had been through a lot, and the updates are harsh upon him. But still we didn't understand.  
  
The fact is, he saw through us clearly. He didn't believe us simpletons. He believed we were just ignorant. He didn't have patience for the ignorant, and it wasn't his fault. So many years of dealing with the ignorant. Have you ever tried to deal with someone who is as old as you are, but has a mind of a two year old? Who keeps on making you lose your face in shame all the time, simply because he or she is being who they are? Well, one can understand why he gradually lost his mind. We didn't understand. And because we didn't understand, he thought we didn't care. And that led to a lot of things.  
  
Curse it-that led to a lot of things.  
  
  
  
It began on the day when Yugi and I went over outside to the park to find him on one of the benches. He was dozing. Dozing, silent and mute, with no movement at all.  
" Ano, Seto?" Yugi said shyly. But he didn't wake up.  
" Kaiba?"  
  
With a start, as if my voice was a spell, he woke up, blinking his tired eyes at us.  
" What do you want?" He asked, not impressed, not aggravated either. He was very calm.  
  
I found this to be quite strange.  
" We just thought we can sit and chat a while-unless you have work to do." Yugi said sheepishly.  
  
He considered this for a moment, then looked at us.  
" I have nothing for the time being." He answered quietly. " What brings you here?"  
  
This manner shocked me even more. But I kept quiet.  
  
" Well, Yami and I were just here." Yugi shrugged. " we just bumped into this bench over here."  
  
He just closed his eyes and said nothing.  
  
" Are you alright?" Yugi asked.  
  
His behavior was too abnormal. He looked pale and thin. Before I could stop myself I reached forward and felt his forehead.  
  
He jumped. He looked at me weirdly. I withdrew my hand.  
" You're hot." I commented.  
  
He closed his eyes again.  
  
" Alright. What's going on?" Yugi sat down beside him. And that was when he said the cursed three words.  
  
" You don't understand."  
  
  
  
After a while we could get no more out of him. He seemed to have fallen back asleep. I found it strange that he should have nothing to do, even stranger that he didn't respond haughtily at us. I came to the conclusion that he was sick.  
  
I didn't understand. Neither did Yugi. After a while he just stood up and left us there, returning to his office. He didn't even say goodbye.  
  
  
  
Days later we received a phone call.  
  
It was from Mokuba. And he was crying.  
  
" He's not waking up!" He sobbed. " He's not waking up! I tried to wake him but he never did!"  
" Alright, calm down Mokuba." I told him sternly. " Yugi and I will be right there."  
  
When we got there he did wake up. But he looked paler then when we last saw him.  
  
" I'm fine." Was all he said. And the strangest part was, there were no comments of annoyance, no glares. Just simple and truthful. " I'm fine."  
  
I wasn't convinced.  
  
" Mokuba called us for a reason, Kaiba." I told him. " Now tell us what's going on."  
" You don't understand." Was all he said. " I must get to work now."  
" You're not going anywhere." I blocked him. " Somehow, I have a queer feeling about you."  
" I've been feeling queer all along." Was his strange reply. " But that's just who I am."  
" I'm not in the mood for such nonsense, Kaiba,"  
" Good, because I'm not in the mood for it either. I appreciate your concern. But I will be running late."  
  
What choice did I have? I really didn't understand. Reluctantly I let him pass. He disappeared into the car and we watched, looking after him, not sure if it was the right thing to do. Whatever happened to the Great Duelist Champion? Who was this new stranger? And even more curious, why is he acting this way?  
  
  
  
" You shouldn't worry so much." Was Joey's reply, " After all, he ain't normal anyways. Been freakin us out ever since we first met him face to face. Why do you care what happens to him anyways?"  
" Well, for one thing," Yugi retorted. " You forgot Mokuba. And Mokuba's not freaky."  
  
Joey blushed. " Oops. Forget what I said. Something's really weird about his big brother, that I'll agree. But what makes you think that's bad?"  
" He's been very unhealthy these days," I answered stiffly, " And there's this thing called will."  
" Will Shmill. Forget about that. Kaiba needs to know a little modesty."  
" Look who's talking." Tea smiled.  
  
We chuckled at that, but quickly we went back to him.   
" I have a feeling that he's depressed." Bakura suddenly announced, rather timidly. But his words were like thunder.  
" Um, maybe..." Yugi thought for a while. " Maybe we can ask him to come over..."  
" He and your Gramps haven't settled that score yet." Joey pointed out.  
" True, but maybe they will. If he decided to...you know."  
" Never happened." Tristan chuckled. " Why?"  
" Well, that way he can talk. Or maybe ask Mokuba to talk with him..."  
" Then you'll risk having the poor child know what he shouldn't." I answered.  
  
Yugi cocked his head. " We'll...do that last. We can try the coming over thing? Maybe? I mean, we can pick the date when Grandpa is out. He's going on a trip this weekend, and I'm staying to take care of the shop."  
" Why not? We can all be here. See who he wants to talk to." Bakura shrugged. " What's there to lose?"  
  
  
  
He accepted a little reluctantly. He probably couldn't think of any excuse, although having too much work to do at his office would have worked, but for some reason he didn't talk about his work at all. He tried Mokuba, but Yugi suggested that he could bring Mokuba over as well. For some reason he didn't seem willing to fight, and didn't put up a good fight either. He was indifferent. But he came.  
  
He arrived just before the storm. He had entered for only a few minutes with Mokuba when suddenly there was a loud crack in the air. An unmistakable crack of thunder.  
  
" Shoot." Joey blinked. " It just poured out of nowhere, eh? By the way, I'm hungry!"  
" You're always hungry Joey." Tea smiled.   
" Do you want something to eat, Seto? I have some fruit, chips and candy bars, unless you like fruit,"  
" No. I'm not hungry." Was all he said.  
  
" So what's up with you?" I asked impatiently. I made the question as blunt as possible.  
  
He looked surprised. " What do you mean?"  
" Well? You don't look healthy. How do you walk around with a fever anyway? And in case you didn't notice, you haven't talked much either. You're scaring Mokuba. You're scaring Yugi. You're scaring all of us."  
" How am I scaring you?" He was still confused.  
" The way you act. I know there's something wrong here. Now spill."  
  
To my surprise he laughed, bitterly but not mockingly.  
" Yami, Yami." He got the better of his mirth. " You are quite blind. You don't understand. You won't. Even if I told you. This is just the end."  
" What are you talking about?" I felt apprehension well up. He was not himself.  
  
" Here. This is part of it. Everyone, listen up." He clapped his hands, attracting confused attention." Let's play a game. Your dear Yami thinks something's wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me really, but something happened over the last few days. Mokuba, don't kill." He had this queer smile that I've never seen before; it looked alien and I didn't like it.  
  
" Riddles. Don't we love them?" He laughed. I knew something was really wrong. I was positive. " Now, if you can guess this, then I'm sure Yami would leave me alone, wouldn't you?  
  
The Shadow Games they play with this, a power that exists in mind...heals in one touch, destroys with one blow, both a blessing and a curse, quenches greed and fills first, more and more it gains...less and less is none. Can you guess what this is?"  
  
  
  
The others stared at him as if he was insane. He went on smiling.  
  
" You sure you're thinking today?" Joey asked. " Because...sometimes, some days I don't..."  
" You never think." Tea snapped. " Shadow Games they play with...cards...power that exists in mind. The Heart of the Cards?"  
  
He just sat there, with closed eyes, as if asleep.  
" Guess not." Bakura blinked. " Come on Mokuba. Tell us."  
" No. Big brother says not to." Mokuba smiled mischievously. " It's a secret until you guess it!"  
" Ugh!" Joey growled. " What is it? Duel Monsters? Cards? Millenium Items? Come on, give us a clue!"  
  
He opened his eyes and looked at Joey weirdly.  
" That is a clue." He said seriously. " And it's the only one you'll get."  
" Aww, c'mon!" Tristan begged.   
" What is it?" Bakura asked. " Please?"  
" Could it be...something with your company?" Yugi asked.  
  
We stared hopefully at him. He gave no answer.  
  
" Magic?" The word just came up to my lips.  
" Bingo!" He snapped his fingers, and a ball of flame bursted into fire. " Now, is this a bad thing?"  
  
He held the ball of flame in front of us, waiting.  
  
" Is this some kind of trick?" Joey asked. " Some lame joke?"  
" Joke?" He closed his palm, and the flame disappeared. " You don't understand, do you? I don't play tricks like these. I only do it when it concerns the game. But to all other games, Yami's the master. He just guessed it. I have magical powers. And they are quite different from what you're use to."  
" Indeed." I agreed. " When did you find out?" I asked after some hesitation.  
  
He turned around and looked at me. " The day we met in the park."  
  
Well that made sense...or so I thought.  
  
  
  
After the day when he revealed his little ' secret', he changed again.  
  
He became even more quiet, hardly responsive, and very evasive. He avoids us as much as he could, and only appeared with Mokuba. He became thinner, paler, less healthy, with dark circles under his eyes. And at every question asked, he answers,  
" You don't understand."  
  
It was so frustrating, receiving the same answer over and over again without knowing why or how to solve it.  
  
But then I asked him another question.  
  
" Why wouldn't you wake up that day?"  
  
To this he answered appropriately.  
  
" If you must know, I was dreaming a dream. Something of the future."  
" Oh? What is it about?"  
" Me. What else?"  
" What's going on then?"  
  
And that was when I really didn't understand.  
  
" I was free." 


	2. Chapter 2

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 2  
  
It was on a weekend when it happened.  
  
We honestly didn't know! It wasn't our fault. We didn't know, for he never told us. He never told us how old he was, or when was his birthday. And it just happened to be that day when it...happened.  
  
He was turning sixteen. And God gave him the greatest gift.  
  
Yami and I were watching television that day, so we never knew until several days later. Joey had called, asking if we had seen Mokuba, for Mokuba had not appeared in school for days nor appeared where he was supposed to meet him.  
  
" Uh...No?" I blinked at the phone. " No, we haven't seen him. Maybe he's just taking care of Seto."  
" Doubt it." Joey swallowed. " Mokuba couldn't even take care of himself."  
" Well, at least he might try." I shrugged. " In any case, there's a customer. Talk to ya later."  
" Sure. Bye."  
  
  
  
When we heard, we immediately rushed over to his mansion.  
  
And as expected, there was no Mokuba.  
  
He was pale as moonlight, with tired, cold, weary eyes. There was nothing to betray his emotions as he acknowledged us, exhausted and sorrowing.  
  
" I'm so sorry." I said at first.  
  
" Sorry is not enough." He replied quietly. " I know."  
" So what are you going to do now?" Yami asked.  
" Let things be." He answered. " That's all there is left."  
" There is still hope Seto."  
" Hope." He laughed bitterly. Then I saw tears running down those cheeks as he abruptly fell to his knees in front of us and began laughing.  
" Hope! Do you not understand? Mokuba was my hope. Mokuba was the only hope I ever had. Hope! What hope is there, even if there still is?" And laughter, the horrible laughter of insanity. Yami grabbed on to him and rocked him, holding him close as the laughter turned into sobs. I held on to him as well, also crying.  
  
Mokuba was dead.  
  
  
  
We didn't know. How could we? We were watching a show, not a news channel. Young Mokuba had died when a drunken driver veered off the streets into the sidewalk. Mokuba died instantly. He had been walking home from school, when in came the car. Mokuba didn't even have time to dodge.  
  
And now, we are at the mansion. Yami was holding him close, murmuring soothing sounds. But nothing can soothe him now, too strong was his grief. He wept into Yami's shoulder in a river of bitter tears, sobs shaking his body.  
  
" It was my birthday." He lamented. " It was my birthday. He had to die that day. He had to!"  
  
  
  
He was sixteen.  
  
  
  
We stayed with him that night.  
  
He was so desperate for companionship and comfort he didn't complain. Yami cooked for him while I tried to console him.  
  
" Everything will be fine. Just hang on, alright?" I told him. " We're all here for you."  
" You don't understand." He hiccupped. " You don't understand."  
  
I blinked. What is there not to understand? But obviously he meant what he said. I said nothing as I helped him to the couch, and let him lean on me as he quieted down steadily.  
  
Too much had happened.  
  
Too much.  
  
He stiffened, another breakout starting.  
" Hush, calm down, it's alright." I told him. He reluctantly relaxed.  
" I knew this would happen." He said, filled with torment. " I knew this would happen. I dreamed this, every night, nightmares." He closed his eyes.  
" You wouldn't have been able to do anything." I pointed out.  
" Why did it have to happen?" He asked, suddenly the sixteen year old that he was. " Why did it have to happen Yugi? To me? What did I do wrong?"  
  
For that I had no answer.  
  
  
  
Things were never the same.  
  
We didn't understand. We knew this would be painful. But we didn't know how much. We didn't know, because we didn't know him. We never did. Sure, he was a champion, he was a multi-billionaire, he was a CEO. But that didn't mean we understood him. For a long time he withdrew into his own world. The corporation remained healthy, but he didn't. He was fading. Fading rapidly. Sometimes Yami would remark that he felt something going on at the mansion. Some magic at work, different from ours, but magic all the same.   
  
He was fading.  
  
  
  
We didn't know.  
  
We didn't know. How could we? He never told us about his past. He never told us about himself. He never told us of his hopes and dreams, his wishes, his heart, his thoughts at night, his prayers. He never told us anything. There were no more tears-his eyes were dry. He had no voice. He is a ghost, a ghostly being that does not exist, does not exist in this world.  
  
We found ourselves trying to find him.  
  
Joey and Tristan didn't like him, and his behavior never really changed that. They did it for Mokuba. Young, sweet Mokuba, who was our dear little friend. He was his brother, so in turn we helped him, or tried to.  
  
But we were grieving at the same time. We didn't provide much help.  
  
  
  
It wasn't our fault. We didn't do anything wrong. It was him; he was too complicated for us. He has been through too much, so much that he saw right through us, and found out who we are. He knew that Joey had troubles with life but was able to deal with them. He knew Yami was a pharaoh at a young age and dealt with it. He knew we were strong. He knew we could help him, if only we saw. He tried to tell us, so many times, in any way he could risk, that he was weakening, that he needed help, that he needed ours. And every time he tried we did not see. We looked past that, only to see a multi-billionaire, cold and cruel, only caring about winning. We looked past and saw Mokuba and wondered how Mokuba could be so innocent and loving when his brother is so harsh and cold. It wasn't our fault.  
  
It wasn't our fault. It's not that we didn't try to see. As Yami had said, we did try. But we couldn't see. A blind man from birth cannot see the color red no matter how much you describe it. And we-we were the blind men, who had never seen an elephant. We touched every part of it, and each one of us were right, but everyone was wrong.  
  
And now he has given up. He gave up trying to call for us. Mokuba's death took the last out of him.  
  
  
  
The funeral took place several weeks later. He was there, pale and ghostly. There was something unreal about him-he looked like a spirit. And then we saw Mokuba, lying in the coffin, pale, as pale as he was, but a picture of perfection. An innocent child that is no longer alive. Mokuba was wearing the pendant around his neck that holds his brother's picture.  
  
When Mokuba was laid to rest, we hesitated before leaving. He remained there, staring at the grave for a long time. And when I saw his face, I saw a being filled with despair, so full that there was no room left for anything else.  
  
  
  
Joey and I went over to his place soon after. It was a dull, dreary day, with the sky completely covered with clouds so the sun could hide effectively. He didn't answer the door, and the door was unlocked. He was tired, he was alone, and basically dead.  
  
Joey had brains, even if we tease him, and he remained silent, only patting his arm before venturing to the kitchen. He knew that the brother hadn't eaten in quite a while.   
  
I took it upon myself to sit down and try to get him to talk. I didn't have to try.  
" I want my mommy."  
  
The statement surprised me, but when I looked at him, his blue eyes were dull.  
" I want my mommy. My daddy." He added. " I want my mommy and daddy. My grandma. My grandpa."  
  
I looked at him sadly. " I know." I told him.   
  
This was the only time I understood. He had never been able to call his parents by any other name. He was young when they were gone. How could he? So now, he had called them by that name all along, all through the years. Mommy. Daddy.  
  
" Where's my baby brother?" He suddenly asked.  
  
I decided to answer. " He is sleeping."  
" Oh."  
  
Joey was standing at the doorway looking at him weirdly.   
' Everything alright?' He mouthed.  
  
I cocked my head, meaning I wasn't sure. Sure, he wasn't breaking down or anything...is that good?  
  
" When will he wake?" He suddenly asked.  
" Um...I don't know," I said hesitantly. " Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine."  
  
He looked at me, and all of the sudden he looked young, very young.  
  
He's a child, good god!  
  
Staring at him, astonished, for a moment I couldn't speak. He looked at me with those clear blue eyes, now empty of all intelligence, just plain loving as only a heart could love. I was so surprised I didn't hear Joey call to us.  
  
Lunch was ready.  
  
  
  
Perhaps the strangest thing was, he didn't cry, didn't sob, didn't lament. He wasn't quiet. He was...almost normal. Like any other teenager, talking quietly, of old times, of things we didn't understand. He spoke of cars, drunken drivers, leukemia, orphanage, of duel monsters, of companies and corporations. He spoke of despair, of love. He told us about pills, how they can create huge side effects. I told him about Yami, about life in Egypt, as Yami had told me. He muttered about headaches and annoyances, of idiots, of simpletons, of puppies and kittens and baby birds falling out of trees. The order was so confusing we didn't know what he was talking about. Joey told about his father, bringing us back to the topic of alcohol. It was a seemingly boring conversation, but it was made interesting because it was the CEO who was talking about it.  
  
We didn't understand. We probably never will. We thought that this means he is on his way to healing. Never were we more wrong.  
  
  
  
I woke up with a start. It was late at night, and I was having the most disturbing dream.  
  
// Are you alright, Yugi?// The voice of Yami echoed through my mind.  
/ Fine, actually. Just a weird dream, that's all./ I answered.  
// What is it about?//  
  
It was actually about him. Him, wielding the strange magic of his. He was holding a golden rod, standing tall like a god, surrounded by flames. But there was something in him, something that stood where he stood. It was...  
  
A child?  
  
Who could have known, that his inner child had stood as a separate being, never growing, never fading, never appearing, simply standing with his older form. It was that child that holds the magic, not he. And yet he was the one that wielded it. He looked into my eyes, opening his mouth to tell me something, as the child also spoke as one. But the crackling of flames drowned out his words, and I cried desperately out to him to talk louder. He closed his mouth, shook his head, and he spun the rod once, there was a flash...  
  
//Yugi?//  
  
I sighed. / It involves Kaiba. It's creepy. Nothing special./  
  
There was a silence. I didn't have to hear him to know that he wasn't as certain as I am.  
  
  
  
" You're kidding." Bakura blinked. " A young Seto Kaiba?"  
" He looked about Mokuba's age, probably older." I described. " Look, just picture, everything's black. Then picture Kaiba, wearing robes and his cloak flapping in the wind, surrounded by flames, holding a long golden staff in his right hand."  
" It's already creepy enough as it is." Joey commented.  
" Now, does anyone know how Kaiba looks like when he's about twelve?"  
" Uh...well, once Mokuba's pendant thingie opened up. There's a picture of a small boy that looked like Kaiba...he looked about twelve?" Tristan tried to be helpful.  
" Oh yeah," Tea said quietly. " I saw it too. Mokuba quickly closed it. It's as if he doesn't want anyone to see it except himself."  
" And then he tried to talk to me." I sighed. " I caught only a few words. The child also said it at the same time. There were two voices. One older. One younger."  
" What words did you hear?" Yami asked.  
" You don't understand...you don't understand at all...something about dry tears, empty life, loneliness. He said something about help, but then I ran to him, asking him to speak louder, because I couldn't hear him. He just shook his head and there was a bright flash. The dream ended."  
" Do you remember anything else?"  
" Why're you diggin so deep into this topic?" Joey asked Yami. " It's just a dream, isn't it?"  
" I'm not so sure." Yami looked serious. " Do you remember anything else?"  
" Um..." I shifted uncomfortably. " No, not really..."  
" This will have to do." Bakura pointed out. " Because Yugi is sensitive to such stuff, so maybe this is a prophetic dream after all."  
" We know about the part of not understanding." Tea leaned back. " We understand the rod-he told us he had magic. Dry tears for Mokuba, maybe-"  
" And his Mommy and Daddy."  
" Mommy and Daddy?" Joey blinked. " Was that what he was saying while I was cookin?"  
" Pretty much." I answered. " Dry tears for his parents and brother, empty life...loneliness. We know he's lonely. So why is he telling me this?"  
" He mentioned help, remember?" Yami suddenly blinked. " Maybe he wanted your help."  
" How should I help him?" I asked.  
" I don't know."  
" This is making my head spin." Joey groaned. " Why are we trying to help Kaiba in the first place?"  
" I thought we've gone over that already." Yami snapped. " Look, maybe Kaiba needs our help. We probably should go get him."  
  
  
  
We found him in a meadow.  
There was a ring of fire, trapping him in there. I called out to him. He looked up; he was holding the staff. There were no robes though. No cloak.  
" What are you fools doing here!?" He shouted, as the flames rose higher.  
" Kaiba! What's going on?" Joey shouted.  
  
The flames touched over head and formed a dome. We saw him through the flames. He spun his staff over his head and aimed it at the sky, towards the sun. There was a mighty blast, a flash, and there were wails of anger and pain. The flames settled. We rushed to him.  
  
He had collapsed. He was clutching the staff for all he was worth. Holding on to it. Tristan gathered him into his arms.  
" Kaiba, are you alright?" He asked.  
  
He was covered with blood. There was a big gash at his temple. He was gasping for breath.  
  
" I'm fine." He huffed. " I'm fine."  
" You have a lot of explaining to do, Kaiba." Yami said to him seriously.  
  
He said nothing.  
  
  
  
" How did you find me?"  
" Hey, we're the ones asking the questions here-"  
" But I just want to know." He begged.  
" To get started, we went to your mansion in hopes of looking for you." I told him. " When we found out that you weren't there, we went to the office. We went to the park. Then we saw smoke over there and went to check it out."  
" Why were you trying to find me?"  
" No more questions. We got one." Yami said seriously. " What were all the flames all about?"  
  
He sighed. " I was at the meadow because I felt something there. I found the rod there, lying on the ground. Something came and attacked me."  
" Sure. We knew." Joey pointed out. " Your wounds ain't burns."  
  
He looked at Joey weirdly.  
  
" He had a huge sword. It took all of my strength to block them with the staff. Then the rod just started glowing, and we shot rays at each other for a couple of minutes. I don't really know how it happened, but I got hit a few times, and it hurt like when Pegasus zapped me into the card. Then flames started up and that was when you appeared. Are you happy now?" He snapped.  
  
" Shoot, as if Pegasus weren't enough for an enemy, now we have a guy after Kaiba. Have any ideas Yug?"  
" No, because he couldn't possibly have any ideas if I don't. And I was the one who was attacked."  
" True." Yami sighed. " Are you alright now?"  
" Yeah," He answered. " I'm feeling very tired. I have absolutely no idea what all this nonsense is about."  
  
He remained silent for a while.  
" Thanks for coming along." He said softly.  
  
I didn't know which to be more surprised at. The fact that he was grateful, or the fact that he admitted it.  
  
" Speaking of which, we need to talk." Bakura began.  
" About what?" He seemed distressed.  
" About you." I began.  
" What?"  
" Well, for one thing. I had a dream last night." I began, rather awkwardly. " You were calling out to me. You were trying to tell me something. You were saying something about us not understanding, dry tears, loneliness, empty life, and something about help." I watched as suddenly his face grew pale. " I have a feeling this is more than a dream. So I need you to tell me the truth. And to tell me everything. Because I swear, you're not going to get away with it otherwise."  
  
But when I looked at his face, he looked so distraught, that I almost regretted making that request.  
  
" There's nothing to tell." He said sadly. " You don't hear." 


	3. Chapter 3

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 3  
  
" I'm telling you for the last time, I don't know how it happened!" He yelled, distressed. " For the love of heaven, that's all I know! I don't know what the heck the rod is all about, why the guy is after me in the first place, and what the stupid dream meant!"  
" Then just answer this one question." I began. " Do you want our help?"  
" I-" He sighed. " What do you mean?"  
" Just that. Plain and simple. Did you want our help?"  
  
He hesitated for a long moment.  
" Yes! Yes! I did want your help!" He suddenly blurted out. " But it's too late now."  
" Why?"  
" None of your business." He looked defeated.  
" Well, if you wanted our help, then it is our business." Yugi pointed out.  
" I-" He threw up his arms. " Why are you doing this all of the sudden? I mean, at first the only connection between us is...Mo-Mok-ub-ba," There was a sob, " And now you're suddenly stalking me as if I were a criminal-"  
" We're trying to help you, by Ra." I uttered an Egyptian curse under my breath. " By the Eye of Horus, just tell us already!"  
" I don't know, alright!" He retorted. " I simply don't know! I just know it's too late." He fell into silent weeping, hugging his knees on the couch. All of us were struck dumb by his behavior.   
  
" It was Mokuba." He suddenly whispered.  
" What?" Bakura asked.  
" It was all for Mokuba." He rocked himself back and forth. " Everything was for Mokuba. My parents died of cancer. Or one of them did. The other just died a few years later. And then Mokuba and I had to go to that dreaded orphanage. Do you know how much I hated it? But I stayed there for a long while, all for Mokuba. And then a man came, and took us both in. He treated us like rodents.   
  
No one looks at you right except your own family, you know. You're just another mouth to feed. Only your parents, your grandparents, they look and see you as a person. No one else."  
  
He rocked back and forth. " I did it for Mokuba. I did it for Mokuba. I did it for Mokuba." He started to chant as if he was delirious. Which he probably was.  
  
At first we were speechless. Then I recovered. I pulled him into my embrace and he gradually silenced. Everyone was very quiet.  
  
Cursing, Joey stood up.  
" But at least he told us something." He sighed.  
" Yeah." Tea nodded. I looked at him. He looked like a small boy, all curled up and shivering.  
" At least he admitted that he needed help." Yugi said softly.  
" He never did argue against that." I pointed out. " Come on, Seto. I'll help you up. You should get some rest after that...incident you've had."  
  
  
  
" So...what do we do now?" Joey asked. " He did ask a good question, you know. Why are we doin this anyways?"  
" For Mokuba." I answered, although now it sounded like an all out lie. " We're doing it for Mokuba. Remember? Just like he did everything for Mo-"  
  
That was the closest I ever got to understanding him. I knew he did it all for Mokuba. But why? That was the logical question. But I received no answer.  
" Well, if that's the case, then I'll say we have all we need to help him." Bakura said, very much confused.  
" No. I think there's more to the story. You never did seem very responsive when you found out you have magic. You were very calm. When Yugi realized that, he didn't know what to make of it."  
" Li-listen," He stood up, wiping his eyes quickly, " I'm tired, alright?" His voice sounded broken. " I'm really really tired. Please, leave me alone."  
" You were lonely." Yugi suddenly snapped. " You were lonely. You needed help. Well, now we're here! Quit acting like you've just lost some kind of battle, will you?" He gentled. " We're here. We're not going anywhere until we find out exactly what you need."  
  
He looked at us in bewilderment. I felt awkward.  
" I'm not doing this." He started up. " You want to know what I need. I need Mokuba! There! But I'm not doing this, I can't keep this up-oh no," He started out of the room. Tristan blocked him.  
  
" Ah ah, not today, Kaiba. You're not going anywhere."  
  
His face twitched in a weird way as he studied Tristan. Then he suddenly lunged out, past him. Tristan grabbed his shoulders and thrusted him back into the room.  
  
Then we saw the strangest sight.  
  
His body became translucent. It had a shadow within it, and then the shadow became more and more clear, until we recognized it to be a figure of a boy.  
  
Looking into his eyes, I started. His eyes were dull. But through them I could see who the boy was. The boy was curled up in a fetal position, about twelve years old, with dirty brown hair and closed eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. The boy uncurled, standing up straight. Blinking, his actual form began to flash. First there was the big form, then the small boy. Flash, the big form, then the small, until we were bewildered. And then, as if losing a battle, the small boy materialized and the tall sixteen year old faded like a ghost.   
  
" That's the kid in the dream!" Yugi whispered.  
  
Blinking, his eyes having a sleepy expression, twelve year old Seto opened his eyes droopily and looked at us.  
" Where's my brother?" Was the first thing he asked.  
" Uh..." Joey blinked. " Um, who are you?"  
" My name's Seto." The boy asked pleasantly. " Who are you? Oh, you're Yami, you're Yugi...I don't remember the three of you though, and Bakura! But...where's my brother?"  
" Then," We ignored his question, " If you're Seto, then...who's the other one?"  
" What other one?" The young child asked pleasantly. " You mean that?"  
  
We were seriously confused, partly because of the whole magical work here. Turning to where the child pointed we looked.  
  
There was a picture of him that we never saw before. He was holding Mokuba by the shoulders. There was the familiar cold expression on his face. He looked like he was glaring at the camera.  
  
" Uh...yeah," Tristan said cautiously.  
" Oh, that's me." Seto answered.   
" Okay, let me get this straight." Joey bent down to the shorter boy's level. " You're Seto. You're Mokuba's brother. Are you the Duelist Champion?"  
" Um...yeah?" Now it was the boy's turn to be confused.  
" Are you the boss of Kaiba Corps?"   
" Um...no? I let my shield do that. Business is too corrupt."  
" Um...so are you the one that took Yugi's Gramps and challenged him to a duel for the Blue Eyes?"  
" Took Yugi's Grandpa?" Seto looked at him, puzzled. " I don't remember. Maybe. I was feeling scared because I heard there was another Blue Eyes-"  
" Wait." At first I didn't know where Joey was going, but I found out. " What do you mean by your ' shield'?"  
" That." Seto pointed. Back to the picture of the cold Seto Kaiba.  
" Um...how old are you?" Yugi asked.  
  
Young Seto shrugged. " I am that is." He answered. " I don't grow old and I don't grow young."  
" This is making my head spin." Joey muttered.  
" So are you the real Seto Kaiba?" Bakura asked.  
" I'm the only one." Seto looked at him, confused. " What are you talking about?"  
" Well, you see," Tea said awkwardly. " We only dealt with Big Kaiba over there. Not...twelve year old Kaiba..."  
" Call me Seto." The boy smiled.   
" So we are kind of confused, you know," Tristan finished uncomfortably.  
  
Young Seto looked at Tea and Tristan for a minute.  
" Who are you?" He asked bluntly.  
" Um, I'm Tea, and this is...Tristan? That's Joey...you know all the rest."  
" Oh. So you want me to explain...okay, but...alright-" Seto cocked his head. " It's simple actually. When I couldn't find Mommy and Daddy, I was scared. So I used magic to create a shield. I had to take care of Mokuba, but I had to protect myself, so my shield carried out all the rest of the work and I took care of my brother. It grew, and I didn't. We're separate. And it takes a lot of energy to keep that shield up, you know? By the way, where's my brother?"  
" You're brother...he's...dead..." I said uncomfortably.  
" Oh..." There was a undecipherable look in his eyes that told me I shouldn't have answered.  
  
There was a series of flashing afterwards, as the ' shield' tried to protect ' little' Seto. But in the end the shield lost.  
  
Seto paled, as if realizing he lost his last defense, started to show real signs of fear.  
" Don't be afraid." I sighed. " We're not here to hurt you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."  
  
Too late. The shield went up, full power. And we saw the cold and ruthless champion, the most successful teenager we know. But now that we had a glimpse of the child within him, we started to know.  
  
We didn't understand. But we started to know.   
  
  
  
Kaiba became quite cold, which led to much confusion. I was certain he wasn't ungrateful, but there was something that made us keep our distance. I still don't know why. Perhaps Kaiba was trying to protect himself from us.  
  
We never really saw Seto again for many a day. Kaiba protected him so well. It led to more confusion. Was Seto in control of his shield? Is his shield a separate person? But that would mean he has a millennium item, and there were only seven. Could it be the rod? But he had just found it. Or did he? Could he be lying? He lied about his magical powers. Is Kaiba Seto's dark side? Was Seto actually twelve years old? Is that actually Seto, or is it his soul? So many unanswered questions.  
  
Who could have known, we got them all from the most unlikely person.  
  
  
  
Now the name all should be familiar with. He's our regular multi-billionaire with some sort of mental problem. But the truth was, that eye of his cured all by itself so he's no longer one eyed, by some unknown blessing or curse, and unfortunately it wasn't the same color as his right one. This...healed eye, is more golden, and quite frankly, sees too much.  
  
How did this happen? I really don't know for sure. It was one thing to look for him. It was another to meet him by accident. We did part with hard feelings, and when we met again, our greeting wasn't gentle.  
  
" What are you doing here, Pegasus."  
  
Right away I knew something changed about him. Pegasus didn't have the familiar sly look. Instead, he had a look of business and perplexity. But he answered in the old Pegasus manner.  
" Why, little Pharoah, can't I go where I please?" He asked pleasantly.  
  
That didn't make sense. As much sense as it would to other people like Joey and Tristan, it coming from Pegasus didn't make sense. It wasn't logical. Because someone as rich as he would not be walking around without his men around. He would be sitting in his car, or limo, whichever one he chooses. But the way he said it did make sense. It was just like Pegasus to aggravate his listener.  
  
" What are you here for?" I asked again. I wondered briefly where the new nickname he called me came from. His eye-  
  
Well, that was when I saw his eye. It was real, flesh and...fluid. But it looked so fake....  
  
" I've heard about your friend." He answered pleasantly. But his eyes had a queer look to it. " Poor Mokuba. How I miss him. And I do bring some news too. Tell Kaibaboy that Mokuba's playing company with Yami Bakura."  
  
It took me a moment to register that, and for a minute I looked at him, confused. Then I realized what he's getting at.  
  
" What are you getting at? You liar!" I snarled. " It's just like you to-"  
" Of course. It's just like me to make people feel bad." Pegasus waved at himself briefly. " But of course, it is the truth. I did not come here to waste my time with you, or your little friend Yugi. I've come here to see Kaiba. I've heard that interesting things have been happening to him recently..."  
  
How in the world did Pegasus manage to get through? I do not know. As far as I can remember, the memory cut off short and began when we were already at Kaiba's mansion.  
  
And the bad thing was, Seto at that very minute ran out of energy.  
  
  
  
I guess Pegasus knew about Seto having magical powers, and perhaps he knew about Seto in depression, even that Seto had been attacked by whoever it was in the meadow. But I don't think he knew that Seto had a shield, and that whoever he really is happened to be a small twelve-year-old boy, who obviously did not know who he is for some reason, and had greeted him with the sweetest smile I've ever seen. Because the minute Pegasus saw Seto he stopped short and could have gaped if it were in his genes.  
  
Kaiba tried to cover up Seto again. Pegasus and I witnessed the flashes. Kaiba lost. Seto continued to smile.  
" Hi Yami." He said. " Who are you? Are you that guy named Pegasus?"  
  
I thought the situation couldn't get any worse.  
  
" Oh..." Pegasus answered. " Yes. Hm, this is a new development."  
" It certainly is." I answered bitterly. I still can't remember why I didn't kill Pegasus right then.  
" Well, child." Pegasus bent down to Seto's level, Seto being very short at the age of twelve. " Tell me. Do you remember anything several months before?"  
  
Seto blinked. " Yeah. I dueled you. For Mokuba. I don't know what you did, somehow I dueled you. You stole my Blue Eyes." He answered bluntly, then giggled. " You like cartoons!"  
  
Pegasus smiled. I had to chuckle at that. Pegasus didn't seem embarrassed, however.  
" Anything else?"  
" You turned Blue Eyes into a cuddly toy." Seto smiled at the memory. " He was cute too. Don't know why he didn't like that." He never mentioned who ' he' was. " And then somehow I lost. You sucked him into the card."  
  
Pegasus remained silent for a long time, and then Seto started to look doubtful.  
" Was it wrong?" He asked.  
" No, no, it's not that." Pegasus looked at me sideways, then looked at Seto for a long time, a thoughtful and considering look.  
" Do you know where my brother is?" Seto asked. " I can't find him. I've been looking all over the place!"  
  
At this I was confused. Didn't I tell him that his brother was gone?  
  
Catching that thought, Pegasus cocked an eyebrow at me.  
" Well, I would tell you where Mokuba is, only, of course, if you promise to keep that shield of yours down."  
  
Seto's voice hardened and his eyes filled with doubt. For a long time he looked into Pegasus's eyes, also thoughtful, also considering.  
" Alright," He said uncertainly.   
" Your brother is in the Shadow Realm." Pegasus said quietly. " I've come to talk to talk to you about it." 


	4. Chapter 4

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 4  
  
They talked for a long while, those two. And I cannot remember what exactly they said, but I knew that Mokuba was in the Shadow Realm and he wasn't supposed to be there, and that Pegasus apparently was not too happy about it.  
  
When he came out I asked him to tell me everything.  
  
He gave me a queer look.  
" Since when did little Yugi become interested in the health of Kaibaboy?" He asked, quite bluntly, for once an honest question. He probably was too puzzled to cover it up with anything, since he realized I didn't really know either.  
" Well, for one thing, I do like his brother. How come Seto didn't kick you out of there?"  
  
Pegasus looked even more confused. " Kick me out?" He then started laughing. " A twelve year old kicking an adult out! Imagine that! Well, Yugiboy, that is very entertaining, but I must be going. I suggest you do not go back-Kaibaboy's not handling things well."  
" It's your fault, you know." I muttered.  
  
Pegasus stopped and gave me a look that chilled me to the bone. But it looked strange because it was an honest and truthful look, not one filled with suspense. His answer was, though, and I had always hated it.  
  
" What do you know, Yugi Motou? You don't understand."  
  
  
  
The next time we met him Seto wasn't exactly twelve years old anymore. He acted a little jumpy, and I would be too, especially since Yami, Joey and I crashed face to face with Maximillian Pegasus. He didn't really comment on our meeting-he carried two thick books covered with silken cloth, and didn't speak a word to us even as Joey threw insults at him. Joey was a sweet guy.  
  
Finally, tired of listening to poor Joey, Pegasus just kicked open the door, the books so heavy he probably couldn't hold them with one hand. The door opened easily, much to our surprise, and Pegasus walked in without fear, very strange.  
  
Inside it was a mess. We paused for a minute, observing. There were charred holes in the walls, some burnt wood on the shelves, soggy books, dirt all over the place, and electric shortcuts.  
" You've been working hard, haven't you, Setoboy?" Pegasus asked.  
  
The answer was a loud explosion, and Seto came out, as a sixteen year old, with a very annoyed look on his face.  
" Don't scare me like that!" He snapped. Then he murmured something, and the cracks, the holes, the electric shortcuts, disappeared as if they've never been.  
" This is an interesting development." Pegasus decided to reply. " I've never heard of magicians who cannot control their magic."  
  
Seto gaped at him for a brief moment before whirling around and storming back into the living room, apparently looking for something.  
  
Pegasus set his books pleasantly on a spare table and gestured at us to sit.  
" Please." He offered. " After all, you'll probably come out of here alive if you don't startle him."   
  
Joey was vastly annoyed. Yami didn't say anything, just sat. I sat down, and Joey followed suit.  
  
We heard the conversation very clearly.  
  
" No, I didn't call the office. If I was so sick I couldn't go, I wouldn't be able to reach the phone in the first place." Seto replied.  
" You know," We heard Pegasus say. " I think you abuse that body of yours too harshly. It could explain why you are throwing magic all over the place...literally."  
" Any cure? Quick?"  
" This isn't a disease, little one."  
" Then what did you bring all those books for?"  
" Have you forgotten Mokuba?"  
" No! I haven't forgotten him! But how am I supposed to go around like this?"  
" You aren't. It's your own fault." Pegasus appeared with Seto sulking behind him. Although it was strange, it was also very interesting. We watched in curiosity as Seto continue to sulk for a while before dropping back to business, folding his hands behind him so he won't burn anything. Pegasus was reading from one of the books.  
  
" Do you want to try this one?" Pegasus asked. " It's an ancient Egyptian spell." This perked Yami's interest very much. " And this was how they do it to bring back souls that were banished temporarily."  
" My brother's not banished." Seto mumbled. " Can you read these?"  
" Oh, actually, no, I know what it means, but I don't know how it's pronounced. Little Pharaoh, mind helping us?"  
  
Yami was fairly offended, but for the sake of Seto he ventured forward and looked from the book.  
" Oh...yes. This is the spell." Yami sounded surprised. Then he mumbled something under his breath.  
  
There was a flash. Everything went dark for a brief second, and then we were back in the room again.  
  
" Why did you do that?" Pegasus snapped. It was the first time we heard him speak that way.  
" I didn't mean to!" Seto retorted indignantly. " I just panicked for a minute there! I have no idea what the spell is about!"  
  
Pegasus growled. " Do you want me to help you or not?"  
" Of course I want your help." Seto's face twitched. " But so far you're not helping."  
  
The two legends stared at each other for a long while, with Yami backing away from them.  
  
Pegasus sighed and rubbed his forehead.  
" You do need to get that childish heart of yours under control, Kaibaboy."  
" I am that child!"  
" I meant that twelve year old."  
" I am that twelve year old!"  
" Really?" Pegasus cocked an eyebrow. " Then what happened to the shield?"  
" It's gone." Seto answered quietly. " I guess I spent most of my energy developing the other powers, so I don't have enough for...that."  
  
By now we were seriously confused, especially Joey, because first of all, the little twelve year old couldn't possibly have grown to a sixteen year old in several weeks, and second, Pegasus seemed to know something we don't.  
  
" Hm." Pegasus answered thoughtfully. " Curious. Very curious."  
  
Silence.  
  
" Listen," Seto sounded defeated, " I really don't think I can handle anything right now. I mean, I've repressed the memory of this entire magic ordeal for so long, and right now it just came back to me all at once." Seto sighed. " I don't know what is going on, Max. I still don't know why you're bothering."  
" That's an interesting question." Pegasus answered pleasantly. " Because to tell you the truth, I don't know either. But that is besides the point, isn't it, Setoboy? But if you say so, we'll save the spell for another day. Just stay calm and don't break anything."  
" Sure." Seto walked him to the door. " By the way, Max?"  
" Yes?"  
" Can you stop calling me Setoboy?"  
  
Pegasus smirked. " In your dreams."  
  
And what confused us more was his answer.  
  
" I thought so."  
  
  
  
When Seto came back we were all sitting on the sofa, comfortable and quiet, including Joey. I kind of feel sorry for him; he must have felt a little stupid, being that he had insulted Pegasus when in truth it seems that Seto and he had settled all scores for the time being.   
  
" Well?" Yami demanded, not too gently, with a quiet and deadly voice. Seto recognized it.  
" Well what?" he asked.  
" You have a lot of explaining to do." I answered. " I think this is a time for some story telling.  
  
Seto ran his fingers through his hair nervously as he suddenly realized he just got into trouble.  
" Well..." He began.  
" Sit down." Yami beckoned, sympathetic at his discomfort.   
  
He reluctantly sat down, seeing no way out of this.  
  
" You can start from when Pegasus and you had that little appointment." I suggested.  
  
He didn't really want to talk, but we weren't really giving him a choice in the matter.  
  
" Pegasus found out that Mokuba got trapped in the Shadow Realm."  
" That we know." Yami answered. " It's called eavesdropping. What else?"  
" He offered to help me get Mokuba out."  
" Why?"  
" Well," Seto swallowed, " I don't really know."  
" He could be lying, you know." I warned. It's not like Seto to just trust anyone, but then again, if this Seto was the twelve year old we just met, then who knows.  
" I know." Seto answered briefly. " But I knew he was telling the truth."  
" How?"  
" I don't know."  
" You're bluffin." Joey glared.  
" I'm not."  
  
And he wasn't. He really didn't know. He just knew.  
  
" And why did you call him Max?" I asked.  
" Max for Maximillian." Seto answered sheepishly.  
" And the book?"  
" The book I don't know where he got it from. He just said that it could help somewhat. It will bring us to the entrance of the Shadow Realm, but we're going to have to do everything else by ourselves."  
" Oh?" Yami tilted his head. " What if he leaves you there in the Shadow Realm and abandons you?"  
" I don't care." Seto answered in an offhanded way. " As long as I'm with Mokuba or I know he's safe."  
  
There it was. Right in front of our noses. But we didn't see the logic.  
  
" You're willing to take the chance."  
" There are no chances. Only fate."  
  
That sounded too much like Pegasus.  
  
" What's gotten into you?" Joey asked bluntly.  
  
Seto looked at Joey weirdly. And what baffled us was not his answer really. It was the fact that he said it as if we should know it already.  
  
" What? I'm dead." 


	5. Chapter 5

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 5  
  
I know. Maybe I shouldn't. But Yugi and Yami insisted. So who am I to refuse? This is a story about Seto, and whoever is deeply connected to him. And well, I certainly was, and would be more, as time goes on.  
  
In truth, I didn't know why I bothered in the first place. Maybe it was because of Mokuba. He was a sweet child. Or maybe because of Seto. I don't really know. But in any case it happened. And all I can really say is, when I saw the little one, all small and cuddly and cute, he took my heart right away.  
  
Because you see, Seto and I might be different in many ways. But we share one important thing in common. We both lost something dear to us. But Mokuba wasn't what Seto lost. Seto lost his parents. And that's what changed things. We all understand that Mokuba means everything to Seto, but we never bothered finding out why. So this is why, plain and simple. Seto lost his parents, and Mokuba was the only one he has.   
  
Sure. We've all read stories about orphans. We've all seen movies and shows, heard of in newspapers, of other stories, biographies, all those things. But in reality none of us knows what it feels like to lose the only people to care about you. When you are a child, you are helpless. You are downright worthless. The only way people could look at you in the eye, is if you have someone to support you. But when there is no one, everyone turns their back on you, telling you what they really feel about you, and all your small actions and setbacks become simply a source of gossip and scorn.  
  
It's hard for a child.  
  
  
  
Actually, he knew perfectly well who I was. He knew I had hurted him somehow. But he didn't know what I did, and gave me a benefit of a doubt. I hope I passed. Afterwards he always called me Max. It was a friendly name, actually, one I haven't heard for a long time. I forgot the days when people called me that. It feels like centuries ago. Did Cecilia call me that? I don't know. But it didn't matter. It never did.  
  
  
  
It was some time later, long after Seto regained control of his magic again. I found time that corresponds with his to visit him again, this time with three books instead of two, and also knowing that Yami and Yugi would make their way there as well.  
  
It was as I suspected. This time there was no Joey to bother us, and for a while we waited. But Seto didn't' come to the door, and I sensed magic at work again, maybe because he was trying to hurt himself. I found that he did that a few times, for no reason, and it wasn't a light matter.  
  
Kicking open the door like last time, I went in with more concern. He was fine, really, a little stiff, and it took me a moment to realize he was under some kind of meditation. Waving my hand in front of him and receiving no response, I finally raised my hand and hit him on the head.  
  
Startled, he looked at me, blinking in confusion. I sighed.  
" Are you alright?" I asked. " You were a little out of it back there."  
" I'm sorry." He answered. It took me a moment to recognize who that voice was. It was Kaiba's.  
  
" What's going on behind there?" I asked, meaning behind that shield.  
" Tired." Kaiba answered. I looked into his eyes. Little Seto was sleeping.  
" Interesting." I blinked. " Well?"  
" Well?" Kaiba answered. " I knew you would come today. I knew Yami would come too. I'm pretty much ready."  
" Is that why you hid him?" I asked.  
" Perhaps." Was his answer. And it was cold like ice.  
  
Sighing, I sat down. " Look, this is the spell. But these are the words that open the door. We're going to need some help here, and here is..." I squinted, a little puzzled. " Hm, strange. This is some kind of legend. And quite frankly your name is on it."  
  
Looking into his eyes, I saw Seto wake up with a start, blinking his bright blue eyes innocently, and the images of Seto Kaiba flashed back and forth. Little Seto hopped over and climbed to my lap, surprising me a bit. But since I was holding the book,  
  
It was strange. Because this Seto was even younger than the other one.  
  
Not able to read it, Seto hopped off, his form flashing again, and he became a sixteen year old, but he still wasn't Kaiba.  
  
Believe me, I knew what was going on. But I don't think I'll ever get use to it even if I had a chance.  
  
Completely confused, Yami Yugi had no choice but to sit there quietly, watching us. Perhaps Setoboy didn't explain this to them.  
  
" What was that about?" I asked.  
" I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
And he didn't.  
  
Sighing in exasperation, partly at the fact that I was the only one who knew what was going on, and partly at the fact that Seto was getting on my nerves, I reverted my attention back to the book.  
  
" Can we just go?" Seto asked impatiently. " I'm not interested in myself now, partly because I don't understand it anyway-"  
" Oh really? Your seven-year-old self seemed quite interested."  
" I'm talking about me here."  
  
I shook my head. " You better listen, Setoboy. There might be things you should know. After all, I don't think even Yami has ever been to the Shadow Realm of the banned. He's only been to the dueling arena. So sit down and stay put, little one."  
  
Annoyed but helpless, Seto sat down as I bid.  
  
Translation was not my best talent, but this time it was very easy.  
  
" Seto Kaiba, well, at least we know they knew your name. Son of...whoever this man was, reincarnation of someone's name, I think this is Ra." This perked Yami's attention again. " Oh. So we have the famous Ra here in our world. What a pleasure." I added sarcastically. Seto was sitting with a surprised look on his face. " You have the powers of the sun, so you basically can destroy the entire planet if you want to. You have the powers of life and death, or rather, you had-whether or not you still do is not known yet. Well, it says that you're the Master of the Shadow Games. Which explains why you and Yami are evenly matched. Speaking of which, you were the one that created the millennium items in the first place. And you break the line of fates. This is very interesting."  
" Interesting indeed. Explain to me exactly why I should listen to this nonsense if we're going to rescue Mokuba."  
" Relax, Seto. We have no time limit here." I looked at the poor boy, at the edge of his wits. " Calm down. I'm sure we can have this thing figured out. You don't just venture into the Shadow Realm and get Mokuba out. There are certain procedures. And even then, you might make it out yourself. So in order to secure everything we need time, and unlike most other situations, time we got, and a lot."  
  
Seto leaned back and sighed. He held his forehead in his hand and was silent. I observed him for a minute before turning back.  
  
" Yami." I called. I didn't feel like calling him by his nickname anyway. " Whatever your name is. You mind calling Bakura? Even if it means bringing Joey and Tristan along, maybe Tea-hm, she just went there. In any case, tell them to come over. We're setting off. The spell will be used for later-right now, Bakura's ring is better."  
  
Reluctantly, Yugi and Yami dialed Bakura's number on the phone while I looked over the pages.  
  
" Hm. This describes the place, but doesn't show it. What a bother." I rubbed my temples. Not for the first time I wondered why I was doing this. Maybe because I knew the whole story.   
  
After finishing the pages, which greatly increased my headache, the bell rang, right on time. Bakura came in with a snobby Joey and confused Tristan, followed by a quiet and strangely reserved Tea.  
  
" Guys," Yugi began. " We're going to the Shadow Realm."  
  
  
  
I know. I shouldn't have. But what can I do? Mokuba was there. And Seto would go at any lengths to reach him. There are many things one can never understand about the child. Yet the final answer is so terribly simple. So simple, one would feel ridiculed. But unfortunately we humans look for the more complicated answers before looking right in front of us. We take the long way instead of the short cut. Only those that see can know. And only those that know can understand.  
  
After explaining everything, Joey, Tristan and Tea persuaded us to let them come as well. It really wasn't a good idea, but someone like Joey couldn't be swayed. Seto seemed restless and impatient for us to go already. So finally we gave up arguing.  
  
It hasn't gotten any less confusing, for them at least. I will not take time to explain the entire situation now-that will be done so later. For now, the others do not know what is going on, but they do know what to do. And luckily they were willing to do it, for Mokuba's sake and for Seto's. And that was really all we need right now.  
  
  
  
We got into a circle, holding hands, with Yami and Bakura the only ones with their eyes open. It was the proper way to transport more than four people into the other world, and we cleansed our minds of all thoughts.   
  
When we opened our eyes again, it was dark. I tightened my grip on Seto's hand so that he wouldn't panic again. He gave me a queer look, and then I noticed that it was no longer Seto, but his shield.  
  
" You certainly protect yourself well." I blinked, amused. But the amusement vanished when the world crushed upon us full weight.  
  
" It's dark." Tea whispered.  
" Setoboy," I shivered, still holding his hand, " Mind giving us a little light here?"  
  
Seto let go of Yugi's hand and held a fire ball in his left palm.  
" Better?"  
" Very much." Tristan answered shakily.  
  
" Where are we?" Seto asked.  
" I have no clue." Yami answered smugly. " Pegasus, have you memorized the map?"  
" Well," I looked up into the air thoughtfully. " We are at the field of voids. If we go any way we should meet the entrance."  
" Um, what about...the distance?" Bakura asked.  
" The distance?" I blinked.  
" The distance?" Yami stared at Bakura. " Oh, right. Well, distance is not a matter in the Shadow Realm. Nor is time. It just is. So, we can go slowly on for miles, or," Yami stepped one large step. We followed in the same fashion.  
  
" We can go one foot." Yugi finished, staring at the main entrance in awe.  
" So...how do we get in? What if it's locked?" Seto asked.  
" Um, there's an incantation." I wracked my brain. " I'm not sure how to pronounce the words. I'm hoping it goes with every language...  
  
Shadow door, gate of Hades,  
Portal to monsters and the banned ones,  
Uh...Handle that does not turn,  
Wood that does not burn,  
Gold that does not melt,  
Skin that has not felt,  
Let the living pass?"  
  
The door opened quietly. Inside was darkness...and more darkness.  
  
" Pegasus, we salute you." Joey muttered. " You are good at guessing."  
" Oh," I blushed. " Why, thank you. But it's pure luck, I would suppose."  
" Interesting. Do you have photographic memory?" Seto asked.  
" Kind of? Sort of? I think? Does that help?"  
" Not really. Let's get going."  
  
  
  
The Shadow Realm isn't really a place of evil. It was just dark, and it isn't exactly a place a normal person would want to be in. Other than that, it is very quiet, very silent, dark and still. Peaceful.   
  
For the souls, at least.  
  
" Who are you, living ones? You shall not pass."  
  
It was the Guardian of the Fortress.  
  
" We are the chosen ones." Was Seto's queer answer, and I briefly wondered how that came up.  
  
The Guardian studied Seto carefully. " The chosen ones are immortal." He said doubtfully. " They do not come to the Shadow Realm."  
" They do not." I answered. " Unless they are banned. In this case we are not. But one of our loved ones has died and ended up here."  
" You are not allowed to remove banned souls unless orders prevail." The guardian answered emotionlessly.  
" Orders?" Seto asked confidently. He held out his rod. " We order you to let us pass."  
  
The Guardian seemed a little cowed, but then a monster came.  
  
" Well, if it isn't the little child we've been waiting for." Said a voice. Seto shouted as his shield was stripped away from him. Twelve year old Kaiba stared about him and looked at me fearfully. I understood.   
  
Darn, I thought. Stripping the child of his protection. What to do now?   
  
But the monster was Gaea the Fierce Knight.  
" We cannot let you pass." Said the knight, his voice deep and powerful. " Many perils lay ahead."  
" Mokuba." Seto whispered softly. He started forward. The horse stepped in his path. Gaea pointed his weapon at the child's throat, forcing him to step back.  
" Where's my brother?" The poor boy cried desperately. In answer, an eye appeared out of nowhere, which was probably the way things are in the realm. It was the Eye of Truth. It opened up its huge eyeball, revealing a large golden eye with a dark and massive pupil in the center. From it shot light, and we all nearly fell from the impact.  
  
Mokuba huddled into a small ball in a corner as light flashed about him. We saw a huge monster, hideous and cruel, the dark Kaiba that was never really part of him. Huge, thick lips grinned to present great and white teeth, massive and gnashing. Far away we saw a mop of white hair, and dark brown eyes opened, the face appearing over the stone. The eyes were filled with malice. It was Yami Bakura. Bakura shuddered at the sight as Yami seemed to look straight at us, but he did not advance. He did not see.  
  
There were others. A beautiful woman, with dark black hair and brown, almost black eyes, dark bronze skin, walked by, licking her lips, and glared at the small form. Giving Mokuba a slash with her sword, the young child only cringed, as blood formed.  
" How can strong Seto Kaiba have such a weak brother?" Yami Bakura wondered.  
" He isn't strong either, wretched ninny." Said the woman. " Just a foolish little boy. Can't believe he use to be Ra, but Ra ain't such a good pharaoh either.  
  
Seto tilted his head.  
" What do you mean?" Asked Kaiba. " Sure he's weak, but he did provide some trouble. Could barely manage to get old Motou to come with his Blue Eyes."  
" Ha! He hides behind a shield, don't you see? Too scared to face the world." The lady waved the fat monster off. " Wonder who should do this? Maybe one of the monsters. Dark Magician or Sagi?"  
" Sagi? Sagi is good for nothing. Dark Magician is good, but he won't even harm a fly. Been serving that Motou for years."  
" Motou? Why serve that guy?"  
" Because he's stupid, that's what." Yami Bakura gave Mokuba a kick. Mokuba only whimpered. The eye closed, the visions disappeared.  
  
" We're going back." I heard Yami say forcefully.  
" What?" Seto cried, whirling around. " No! I'm not leaving Mokuba here! Did you see what they're going to do to him?"  
" I know what I'm doing. I know what they're doing also. I also know that if we stay here any longer, things will turn out for the worst." Yami never did explain what he meant.  
" But-"  
" Seto, listen to him." I took his hand. " Trust Yami out of all people."  
" But I can't leave Mokuba!" Seto began to panic. " I need my brother!"  
" You can't do that right now!" Yami snapped, startling the young boy. " You need all seven millennium items! I need to get Shadi and Malik, but in the meantime, we have to let things be."  
" Why?" Seto asked.  
" Because you can't free Mokuba without all seven items!" Yami answered impatiently.  
" I'm not leaving with Mokuba!" Seto was panicking.  
" You don't have a choice." Without a word Yami gestured and Joey lifted Seto into his arms.  
" You go make sure Mokuba's alright." I ordered. Gaea nodded and kicked at the horse's sides. They disappeared. The Guardian remained where he was as we left. Stepping out of the main entrance Yami murmured a spell and we were back home. When Joey set Seto back down, Seto was crying. But for once we didn't bother with him. There are much more important things.  
  
Because where Mokuba was at, with Kaiba, with Yami Bakura, with the evil woman, it was the chamber of tortures. And that chamber, whoever steps out from within, his soul is immediately extinguished in the most painful way, unless the key is put in. And quite frankly, the keys are the seven millennium items. 


	6. Chapter 6

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 6  
  
I know. All of this is very confusing. Because that was really how it was all this time. We didn't understand. And so we didn't understand anything else. It was that simple.   
  
But Pegasus understood. He was probably the only one. What can we do?  
  
" Mokuba," Seto cried over and over again, his body shakened with sobs. " Mokuba."  
  
Finally, tired of his wailings, Joey grabbed his shirt and lifted him up.  
" Get over it, Seto Kaiba!" Joey yelled. " The world doesn't revolve around Mokuba you know? So stop sniffling like some baby!"  
  
It really wasn't his fault. Joey wasn't cold hearted. There were just times when he was impatient. I guess all boys are like that. I was like that too, five thousand years ago. But I had to learn patience as a pharaoh. Joey never needed to.  
  
But he made the wrong move. Seto pushed him aside, a sixteen year old with a strength of one, and fell back to the couch. He stopped crying. And it looked like it would be hard to make him start again. Pegasus stood at one side shaking his head at Joey. Wrong move Joey. Wrong move. He said.  
  
Sighing, I looked up to check on Yugi. He was still calling. Malik, and it didn't take too long to persuade him. Yugi hung up, then dialed for his next call. I looked back over. How did Seto disappear like that?  
  
  
  
" I think you need some explanation of everything." Pegasus said pleasantly, sitting where Seto once was. Seto was probably upstairs, or outside, wherever he could be.  
  
Oh, we certainly did.  
  
  
  
" No one understands Seto except for the other children at the orphanage." Pegasus continued. " And even they don't understand him. Seto was too smart. They were jealous. All of the families chose Seto but he refused them all. And all because of Mokuba."  
" He was twelve years old. He can't even take care of himself. So how was he supposed to take care of his brother, who is even younger than he is? Mokuba was Seto's responsibility. So Seto had to take care of him no matter what. But Seto also has to preserve himself. With the use of his old magical powers, Seto created a shield. His shield is his body, protecting his heart. His shield is his developing mind."  
" That settles the shield thing." Joey answered. " But what about the twelve to five and to six?"  
" Do you see anyone else in this world named Kaiba?" Pegasus asked.  
" Um, no? What has that got to do with it?" Tristan asked.  
" He has no one." Pegasus answered. " No family. That is the whole point of the shield. To protect himself. The five year old and six year old is his innocence. Whenever he expresses a character of a younger age, his soul returns to that age to emphasize it."  
" So that's how it works, huh?" Tristan blinked. " Does that mean he'll return to an eighteen month old state?"  
  
At this, to all of our surprise, Pegasus blushed.  
" I don't know." Pegasus answered timidly. " I certainly hope not, for Seto's ego. But so far it has never happened, and most likely will not, since an infant does not have a wary conscience."  
" Well, that makes sense." Bakura nodded. " This is quite an interesting trait Kaiba has."  
" It is." Pegasus smiled bitterly. " And there's more."  
  
  
  
There isn't really much you need to know. There isn't much you'll understand. Sixteen years is a long time, too much to tell. Just imagine every day of your life is a struggle for survival, for maintenance, for your soul, as well as someone else's. Just imagine every second, you worry, whether you'll live, whether someone else will live, whether you'll find yourself. And you'll get a glimpse of what Seto's life is. Maybe not even that.  
  
You can imagine our confusion, even after Pegasus described all that he knew. He knew much more, but that was not important for the quest. In reality I should have known what Seto was going through. I was young then. I was Pharoah. But I still had my mother. I remember one time, some days after we rescued Mokuba. Seto and Pegasus were sitting on the sofa at the island in the living room, and Joey was munching on the sandwiches the servants served. I brought up the topic that the two of them use to be eternal enemies.  
  
At that comment Pegasus started laughing hysterically, Seto doing the same. We all stared at them in surprise, but it seems the more they think of it the more funny it seemed. Was this some private joke?  
  
" Reminds me of the Montagues and Capulets." Seto snorted. " As for eternal enemies, yeah, I guess we were, sort of, kind of. By the way Max, you still owe me a game!"  
" True." Pegasus had answered. " I still owe you one. After we calm down." He chuckled more, very ungracefully, but it couldn't be helped.  
" What's so funny?" I finally asked, annoyed.  
" Oh, nothing. Just the statement. We were really hateful of each other." Pegasus punched Seto lightly in the arm for emphasis. " But of course, we found that we share one thing in common."  
" What?"  
" We both lost people." Pegasus wrapped his arm around Seto's shoulders as the teenager spoke. " We both lost people we love. We're both weird."  
" Weird?" Joey stopped eating.  
" Yeah, well, you know. Cecilia's death drove Max mad. From a painter to a business man- now that doesn't seem very logical does it? But of course, the way our minds work, it would be. Mokuba's death drove me to depression, and that is called mental problem. So our minds are going haywire. We're both insane."  
" You-" Tea looked confused.   
  
The two legends broke down into hysterics yet again, and Seto shouted out at us as if it was obvious.  
  
" You vapid geniuses! It's called Loneliness!"  
  
  
  
Malik and Shadi were not happy with the plan, for one thing-there were enemies in that realm, and for another, none of us had ever been there from our own will, except for Pegasus and Bakura, who were only there for dueling. Both of them fingered their millennium items nervously as we told them why we must go on this journey.  
  
It took some persuading. Not because they didn't want to help Seto, but because they were more or less nervous about the Shadow Realm. The realm has no boundaries. You can get lost easily-or find yourself. It depends on how you travel. They weren't really sure how the Shadow Realm works without us controlling it. They had a reason to be nervous.  
  
We had one too. But for the sake of Seto we didn't really have much choice. Also for the sake of Mokuba.  
  
I remember that time when it was Pegasus who curiously asked the question.  
" Why are we doing this again?"  
  
We didn't know the answer. But we know it isn't just because of Mokuba anymore.  
  
  
  
This time when we reached there, the guardians weren't there. Instead there was a vast open hole in the middle of the darkness. Seto threw something in it and it vanished.  
" I don't think I want to go in there." Tristan stated. " Who knows, maybe it's a bottomless pit of some sort."  
" It is." I blinked curiously. " Funny. I thought those things have vanished."  
" Well, they're here alright." Joey peered down. " Anyway we can get around?"  
  
Something made both Seto and Pegasus start.  
" You heard that?" Pegasus asked in surprise.  
" Did you say that?"  
" No."  
" Oh, but I thought I did-"  
" You did?"  
" I think I did,"  
  
The conversation wasn't leading anywhere, but Pegasus looked confused and Seto looked shocked.  
" What's that all about?" Joey asked the question we'd all been thinking.  
  
But Seto didn't tell us. It happened to be that Seto had read Pegasus' thoughts.  
  
" The thing is too wide." Seto looked to the side. " We'll have to jump it."  
" What?" Tristan paled. " But-hey, wait!"  
  
Seto somersaulted over, slipped, and dug his rod into the darkness. It held. He stayed there for a while, catching his breath, before hauling himself up.  
  
" Oh, sure. All of us can do that stunt. Yeah, right. And we could make it A-okay. I'm so not doin that!" Joey backed off.  
" You don't have to." Seto answered. " Yami can bring you guys back. I already did it. I'm not turning back."  
" Wait. We're coming." I begged him to wait. Seto hesitated, and for a minute I think there was a sort of understanding between us. It was brief, but it did the job.  
  
Mingling with Yugi, I performed the same stunt, although perhaps because I was more at home in this world then Seto was I was more successful. Bakura went next. He had more difficulty-he near fell in. We pulled him up, and found that he was trembling. I could not blame him.  
  
" Um, my turn?" Tristan asked. But before he could object Pegasus took the jump. He did it quite gracefully, although he didn't somersault like Seto and I did, but he almost knocked me over. He wasn't trembling-he was very calm, and with a brief apology we waited for the two boys and Tea to come over.  
  
After that challenge we turned and found a sword on the ground. The sword was covered with blood, hilt and all.  
" Um, I don't like that." Tea backed a little. Seto studied the sword, but he didn't touch it.  
" Come. Mokuba is this way." Pegasus instructed. I briefly wondered what made him able to see that. Then I realized Seto was already ahead when Pegasus spoke.  
  
There were grasses. There were actually grasses. But they competed with weeds, and they were all dry, brown, withered to dust. Flowers stood in their hardened beauty, dry, faded into dullish brown. Trees stood bare, white and pale. The very place makes one feel dead.  
  
Seto walked on as if he didn't see anything. His jaw was set, his eyes were blank. A shadow loomed before us. Tea cried out, but was hushed by Joey. Seto and Pegasus stood side by side, unafraid.  
  
" Who dares intrude upon the gates of the banned?" A deep voice rumbled.  
  
Pegasus and Seto said nothing. The younger boy only stared defiantly in front of him.  
  
" You cannot pass."  
" You dare defy?" Was Seto's strange answer. The shadow shifted, as if cowed by Seto's daring voice. But it couldn't be...  
  
" You cannot pass." And that answer seemed final. Seemed.  
  
Seto raised his staff. A queer light glimmered on its edge.  
" I will pass." Seto answered. He struck. The Shadow blocked, with a sword.  
" We do not wish to harm you, little one." Said a feminine voice. I turned. She was the Change of Heart card.  
" We cannot let you pass." Said the first shadow.  
  
I tried to push ahead. Something kept me back. A spear.  
  
" You have always risked many things, little one." Said the shadows. " Are you willing to risk the souls of all your friends?"  
  
At that Seto seemed thoughtful. He eyed Pegasus for a while, then turned his stare to the rest of us.  
" No. They can go."  
" Yet they are not leaving."  
  
And it's true. Despite the fact that Tea was scared, Joey was upset, and Tristan was downright angry, none of us were turning back. We were pushing on. Just like we pushed on everything in the past.  
" That is their choice." Seto answered. " And I won't bother changing it. So make us leave. If you can." 


	7. Chapter 7

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 7  
  
That was a downright dare, and I didn't know whether the monsters were willing to face up to it. In fact, I think for the most part they were trying to protect us, Seto for the most part. Neither side was willing to relent, but I probably expected that we would lose. How are we mortals supposed to stand up to those guys?  
  
The monsters weren't very willing to attack. They weren't willing to relent either. For a moment they pleaded and tried to reason with Seto.  
  
" From henceforth," They warned. " You will not find what you seek so easily. Many perils lead between the chamber of the banned and this gate. Many more will come within the chamber."  
  
Seto was never one to back down from hardships.  
" I have enough of this talk." Seto answered defiantly. " Think you that I care what happens to me?"  
" Do you not care what happens to the rest?" The Guardians inquired.  
  
This question actually made Seto pause. For a moment he was still as stone. When he shifted a little, Pegasus laid a hand on Seto's shoulder. It was surprising, because it was a purely paternal act of affection. It also said what he wanted.  
  
But Seto probably didn't listen. He turned to us.  
  
" Perhaps you should go." He said quietly. Pegasus looked exasperated.  
" We won't." Yami answered.   
" This is my fight."  
" This isn't just yours any longer."  
  
Seto looked mildly surprised.  
" Listen Seto." I began. " A long time ago you wanted our help. We never heard. It's true, what you said. We don't hear. But then afterwards you stopped calling and only then we heard, and it didn't seem to late. We had always questioned ourselves, why are we doing this? Why are we helping you?"  
" Yeah, and the answer was always, for Mokuba. For the memory of Mokuba. Now don't cringe like that, Kaiba." Joey snapped. " Because you have to face it. If you don't speak his name, he ain't gonna be remembered. Don't act like a coward, since you ain't one. We always told ourselves, for Mokuba. And then pretty recently, we found out for ourselves it wasn't just Mokuba, not from the beginning, not now."  
  
Seto stared at Joey, not comprehending. Behind him, Pegasus smiled a little.  
" You're part of our group now." I told Seto. Perhaps that was what he had wanted to hear all along, for Seto's eyes suddenly melted. I went on, knowing I pulled the right strings. " You're part of our group now. Your fight is our fight. We're not abandoning you."  
  
  
  
  
The monsters didn't fight us. We pasted through, and found ourselves surrounded by golden doors. Taking a chance Seto opened one and went in. We followed.  
  
The door slammed shut right behind us. I yelled. Seto looked up and was silent. Pegasus rubbed his arm reassuringly.  
" Um, can we have some light here?" Joey asked.  
  
Seto responded mutely, obviously shakened. The dim light reflected off the walls of the chamber, casting eerie shadows.  
" Where are we?" Bakura asked.  
" Some Pharoah's tomb." Pegasus ran his fingers over an armrest of a golden throne. " Not Tut's, because Tutankhamon was found already. And his...coffin didn't look like that."  
" Screw King Tut. I want out." Tristan turned. " Darn! The door's locked."  
" Thanks for pointing that out." Seto snapped. He struck the door experimentally. The door didn't give under his rod.  
" Hm." Bakura said thoughtfully. " Do you suppose this is a tomb in the real world? After all, Egyptians do practice this kind of magic. Perhaps they built a door to the Shadow Realm so the Pharaoh can pass through."  
" This one's different. Pharoah's aren't supposed to go to the Shadow Realm. They've never been there, so they think that world is evil. The Pharaoh is supposed to go to the Field of Reeds." Pegasus answered. " This is the real world. I can feel it. But this isn't an ordinary pharaoh."  
  
He looked over the cover of the coffin. For a moment he went pale, then he looked at the rest of us.  
  
" You won't believe who's in there." He said.  
  
  
  
" WHAT?!!"  
  
I winced. Joey could be loud at times.  
" Hm. This is a bundle of news no doubt. Not only are we locked in a chamber of an Egyptian King, we're locked in the tomb of Yami. Isn't life absolutely joyful." Pegasus rubbed his chin. " On the bright side, his tomb was never raided."  
" Your jokes use to be funny." Seto snapped. " Lame but funny. This time it's truly lame."  
  
Pegasus smirked. " In any case, no doubt our friend Yugioh is capable of getting us out, since this is his tomb."  
  
Yami was silent. There was a defeated expression on his face.  
" Guys, have a little compassion, would you?" Tea scolded. " Would you like to see your own body in a coffin, while you still have a conscious?"  
" Would freak me out, swell." Joey shrugged. " Sorry Yami."  
  
Pegasus nodded.   
" You should be the one who's sorry." Tea glared.  
" Why?" Seto asked. " He's a crazy man."  
  
Pegasus choked and began chuckling.  
" True, we're all truly insane. But that's not the point here." Pegasus shrugged.  
" Geez, you two, what happened?" Tristan grumbled. " Now how do we get out?"  
  
Seto blinked. " Max, do you suppose there's any card that can make us go through walls?"  
" Don't you? You're the Duelist Champion."  
" I know." Seto muttered. " But I'm not the one that started the game, and quite frankly I can't remember a single card except for that Toon World."  
  
It seemed to be an ugly memory for Pegasus, because he noticeably grimaced.  
" Sorry." Seto muttered.  
" No, it's alright. Actually, there's none that I can think of at this moment."  
" Well, if we can't think of any, how the heck are we suppose to get out?" Joey asked.  
" Simple. We ravage the room." Seto said pleasantly. " After all, Yami's got to be buried with something sharp."  
" Ugh! You are so unsympathetic!" Tea suddenly scolded. We all turned to realize Yami seemed despondent and pale.  
  
A moment of silence.  
  
" Sure," Joey began, " Sorry Yami. I think all of us lost our heads back there."  
" Well, if we don't search through these things, then how are we going to get out?" Pegasus asked logically. " I don't intend on staying here with musty spores growing all over the place, quite frankly."  
" But Pharaoh's are supposed to have their stuff untouched." Bakura pointed out.  
" Wake up, Bakura." Seto snapped. " Do you see Yami in the field of reeds? But I suppose you're right. Since all the treasures are untouched, we'll do our best to leave it that way."  
" Then what?" Tristan asked. " It's not like we can just hang around here and enjoy this place."  
" I'm getting to that." Seto snapped, exasperated. " I'll try some kind of explosion spell on that door. Hopefully we'll be out."  
" Then what happens to us? Will we get exploded as well?"  
" Depends. If you make me angry, yes."  
" Good grief!" Tristan through up his hands, and then backed away.  
  
Whatever it was, it didn't really work. It didn't seem like an explosion-didn't seem like nothing either. The door bulged like a balloon, then snapped back with a thwap.  
  
" What the heck was that?" Pegasus asked.  
" I don't know." Seto seemed confused. " That never happened before. Not that I tried it much really."  
" Of course." Pegasus nodded, understanding. He seems to understand so much now. " Why don't you use your dark magic instead?"  
" Black magic." Seto corrected. " But you know how that is. It always goes wrong, somehow, unless I'm really that evil."  
  
I blinked. What was that supposed to mean?  
  
" No, you're not." Pegasus said slowly. " But apparently your other magic isn't going to work." Pegasus thought for a while.  
  
Seto slammed his rod against the door and sighed.  
" Knew it. Shouldn't have agreed in the first place." He muttered.  
" We wouldn't have left even if you pointed that bloody sword at us, Seto." Pegasus answered. We decided Seto was thinking about arguing.  
" Really." Seto muttered. A silence.  
  
" Perhaps the millennium items would help." Malik suggested. " I don't know how, but perhaps."  
" That's it." Seto looked up. " The Millennium items. Why don't you focus all your energy upon the door? That way we'll blast our way out for all I care, as long as we just get out of here. I never did like...corpses."  
  
I shrugged. We all closed our eyes, the five of us, with Pegasus watching.  
  
  
  
I can't really remember what happened. Somehow we got out. Maybe because it worked, or maybe because of some other reason. The memory seemed to be erased, gone forever, without a trace. All I know is that we were back in that dark alley, with the golden doors all about us.  
  
Seto perked up, blinking. He listened closely. We fell silent.  
  
There were drippings. Drip drip drip, sounds of water falling on puddles. A mystical hiss, that echoed off the walls. The Shadow Realm is a realm of terror.  
  
I shivered and caught Yami's hand. Briefly I wondered how Mokuba could survive in this place. Then I remembered; Mokuba couldn't, but what choice does he have?  
  
  
  
There was a question that Seto had asked from then on. What do you live for? Perhaps it was the question he kept on asking himself. Because before that fateful day Seto thought he knew of his destiny and of the reason he was alive. It was simple, really, simple to understand, but very hard to see. He thought he lived for Mokuba. It was so easy. Mokuba, for the sake of Mokuba's happiness, for the sake of his success. Seto never really wondered what Mokuba lived for. Perhaps something he will never see.   
  
I will never forget that fateful day. Because it wasn't a coincidence that we found Yami's tomb. It wasn't a coincidence that his mummy was left unraided until we entered through that horrid door. It wasn't a coincidence. I remember the battle. Seto had rushed, with the speed of the wind, up to a door different from all the rest, and thrusted it open. Inside were the spirits of the banned, grinning maliciously.  
" We thought you would come." Said Yami Bakura. " It's about time."  
  
Afterwards all I can describe was blood. Blood, with Pegasus trying to save him as Seto lashed wildly with his rod at the sneering spirits that fought against him, all powerful, all mighty, laughing at the weak boy that Seto was. Mokuba, being consumed with whiteness, mummified, all the while calling quietly for his brother to save him. Seto, weeping, pushing past all the spirits, shooting lights. Gaea, on his fierce horse, trying to stop him. Bakura, shrinking back. We ran. The door closed behind, never to open again. The seven millennium items fell out of the jots in the golden metal. Seto, springing out of Pegasus's embrace, and hitting the door, sobbing, wailing. But everything was muted. Everything was silent. I did not hear his voice. Only my heart, racing. I looked through the slots and saw Mokuba, slowly disintegrating into nothingness. He had his arms folded, he was wrapped in white gauzes, like a dead pharaoh. The Shadow Realm flashed and roared with fury. Gaea picked up Seto and set him on his horse and we all rushed out as the chamber of the banned exploded into many pieces. It was what the evil spirits had planned all along-that Seto would come by and force his own brother into the black void of spiritual sacrifices. The spirits would then be set free. But the spirits were destroyed as well, destroyed, destroyed. Seto had leaped from Gaea's arms and rushed back, in a vain hope to join his brother. He had rushed through the door, grabbed Mokuba's retreating form, and unwrapped him. Mokuba gasped.  
  
" Big Brother?"  
  
Seto didn't answer, instead, grabbing the little hand as the Shadow Realm decreased into nothingness, ran as fast as he could with Mokuba trailing behind him...  
  
There was a call. We all heard it. It was calling, pleading. Seto blinked, rushed to the voice. He had grabbed hand of a pleading spirit, a spirit, someone. He didn't look to see who it was. Running, Pegasus caught Mokuba and Yami muttered a spell. There was an explosion. A cry from Mokuba, and briefly we saw his pale and transparent form falling into the void. The world flashed. We were...  
  
Home?  
  
  
  
But when Seto looked at whoever he had rescued, it wasn't Mokuba. Mokuba was gone. Mokuba's soul had died. Instead that spirit was...  
  
Cecilia Pegasus. 


	8. Chapter 8

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I know there are questions. So many questions. Those will be answered as we progress. Because at this point we didn't know either. Staring at that woman we stood gaping. We didn't acknowledge Seto's sobs. None of us did. Not even Pegasus.  
  
Cecilia was a beautiful woman, with long blonde hair and beautiful eyes. She had an ugly gash on her forearm that was slowly healing. Pegasus first took her into his arms and they hugged in silence.  
  
We turned our attention to Seto. Poor poor Seto, who lost everything.  
  
Coming up behind his huddled form I bent down and laid a hand on his shoulder.  
" I'm sorry." I said quietly. I was so stunned I couldn't say anything else. Everything happened so fast.  
  
He turned up and glared at me.  
  
" You're sorry." He hissed. " Sorry. Do you know how many times people told me that? I'm so sorry little Seto, about your parents. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, saying that wouldn't have mattered if they meant every word of it!"  
  
" Seto..." Yugi began hesitantly. Seto threw my hand off and stood up, his eyes flashing.  
" I am so sick of you all." He hissed as he brushed past us, out into peril.  
" Seto!" I called. But he was gone.  
" I'll go after him." Joey offered.  
" No." Pegasus let go of his wife. " I'll go."   
  
We stared at him.  
  
" I owe him that much." He answered quietly, before rushing out after Seto.  
  
  
  
When he came back Seto looked sickly and pale. He was weak and exhausted, still sobbing with grief. Pegasus was supporting him the best he could. Quickly Yugi and I set to work. We helped Seto to the couch and Yugi went to fetch him some water. Seto was shivering. He looked terrible.  
  
  
  
Afterwards we had everything explained.  
  
Cecilia's death opened up the Shadow Realm in the first place, which was why she was in the Shadow Realm. In order to close it, the Shadow Realm needs to be filled with the essence of a spirit, which was why Mokuba was needed for the sacrifice. But in order for the sacrifice to take place they need a command from a god, which was Seto. And Seto did it. He killed his own brother.  
  
For a long time Seto remained silent. He seemed haunted. One time Yugi and I found him holding a blunt knife and just staring at it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Malik had snatched it away from him the minute he realized what was going on.  
  
I didn't mean to do anything wrong. Seto's haunting words whimpered as Malik stared at him. It just hurts a lot. That's all.  
  
  
  
I still remember what happened days after Seto had held that knife. Seto and Pegasus had sat down at the opposite ends of the table, with Cecilia watching on Seto's side.  
  
" No! You cannot play that Toon world thing." Seto had stated. " Otherwise," He made a motion across his neck with his index finger. Pegasus chuckled.  
" No worries. It's the Swords of Revealing Light."  
" That's much better. Get on with it already."  
  
The friendly game lasted about half an hour, with Pegasus winning. Seto grumbled a little, and Pegasus smiled at him.  
" I can always teach you some strategies." He pointed out.  
" Try." Seto smiled. " I don't think I can learn." He set down his cards and leaned back. " I've learned so much over this past year, if you understand what I mean. Yugi taught me about the Heart of the Cards, Joey taught me faith, blind or not. But now things have changed. I no longer have any faith left in myself. In fact, I don't think I ever had. The game is nonsense without faith and confidence, you know. It takes all the joy out of it. Now I just feel so empty."  
  
There was a silence. Cecilia patted Seto's hand empathetically.  
  
Was it self pity? Joey had asked that. Was it self pity? But Seto's answer was calm.  
" Maybe." He said. " It depends on what self pity is. I don't feel sorry for myself. I don't feel."  
  
And that was that.  
  
  
  
" No! He's the guy that got chopped up-"  
" No, I was asking WHO is he."  
" I know! He's the guy that got chopped up, and then his wife brought him back to life-" Joey laughed as Tristan hit him on the head.  
" He's the Judge of the Dead, geniuses." Tea muttered. " That was what Tristan was asking. Many people get chopped up in history."  
" Oh? So if Osiris is the judge of the dead, then who is Anubis?"  
" I don't know. I don't study Egyptian history. Perhaps the guardian?"  
  
I cocked an eyebrow.  
  
" By the way Tristan, why are you asking these questions?"  
" I'm studying Global History."  
" Have fun." Joey chuckled. " You'll be studying your head off."  
" Sure. I'll be studying Napoleon, Akhenaton, Nicholas II, Marie Antoinette, Washington."  
" Confucius."  
" Right. And not to mention King George."  
  
I shook my head and turned around. Yugi was rushing up.  
  
" Where were you?" He asked me. " I was looking all around for you!"  
" I was with Seto." I answered. " And the two jokers over there."  
" Oh." Yugi sighed. " Bad news Yami. Seto just fainted at work. He's still unconscious, at the hospital."  
" Oh no. First Mokuba, now Seto." Joey threw his bookbag over his shoulder. " Let's go."  
  
  
  
When we got to the hospital both Cecilia and Pegasus were there. Seto was very much conscious by then, and very much pale. Pegasus was holding his hand reassuringly.   
" What happened?" I asked.  
" Oh." Pegasus blinked. " Hello. You came by quickly. Poor Seto didn't eat much, so now he's anemic." He clicked his tongue in worry. " But luckily, rest and food should do the job."  
  
Seto remained quiet throughout the whole day.  
  
" Hey pal." Joey patted his shoulder. " What did you get yourself into?"  
  
Pegasus chuckled. " Hm. Seto's been taking care of Mokuba for more than five years. Very tough for a sixteen year old. Don't you think it's time someone took care of you?" He ruffled Seto's hair. " That way, we can turn that pink blood of yours redder."  
" Pink blood?" Tea grimaced. " Egh!"  
" Yeah well, iron deficiency anema." Tristan shrugged.  
" Don't worry." Pegasus reassured Seto's unanswered question. " People think less of physical strength then you think. In fact, people still think you're a kid. Where do you think I got the term Kaibaboy from? After all, you're a famous youngster. Everyone knows you're still a teenager, and are rather surprised that your business actually lasted four years. Just don't let that lack of red blood cells affect that brain of yours. Would be a pity of the world of ignorant loses someone who sees."  
" Hey, what is that supposed to mean?" Joey snapped.  
" Poor Seto needs a guardian." Cecilia smiled sadly. Seto rolled his eyes and sneezed. It was actually very cute.  
" You know, you should do that more often." This caused everyone to laugh.  
  
Seto blushed a little.  
" So what happened? How did you get from Industrial Illusions here so fast?" I asked Pegasus.  
  
" It was actually very strange." He said thoughtfully. " I was checking up on everything on the island when I got a phone call. One of his assistants asked me for help. He said that Seto kept on calling for me, although Seto didn't really specify which ' Max' it was. That assistant must be pretty smart, but not withstanding, Cecilia and I made our way over here quickly. He was already at the hospital, and pretty much unconscious."  
" They took the blood test." Cecilia added. " It was light pink, as anemic people are. Seto's too young to be having this problem!"  
" Seto is too young for everything." Pegasus continued. " Mentioned to me one time that he found three strands of white hair when looking randomly in the mirror. He's two meters tall and yet he weighs what? One fifteen? In all seriousness, with Seto still a growing boy, that is seriously light."  
" I know!" Joey didn't mention how much he weighed. I didn't either-I don't know.  
" So Seto and we agreed to let him stay at Duelist Island for a while." Cecilia smiled sadly. " It's really the least we can do. The island is actually very peaceful. There are deer, really, birds and squirrels. After all, Seto's business is fairly stable."  
" Really? You are going to Duelist Island?" Tea asked. Seto just smiled and blushed a little. I guess he couldn't really blush deeply because there's little red blood cells. So he looked more pink then red.  
" Poor Seto." I smiled. " So what do you plan to do there?"  
" Hopefully nothing." Pegasus laughed. It was a good humored laugh, a real one. " Fresh air is good, isn't it?"  
" Of course." Yugi agreed. " Some vacation Pegasus has planned out for ya, eh Seto?"  
  
Seto didn't answer.  
  
  
  
Newspapers transfer information very quickly. It didn't take long for the whole world to know that the Duelist Champion and the CEO of Kaiba Corps is anemic-which may be quite bad. Of course, because of this, Seto had to stay at his company to get things in order despite his weary state-people are not confident in an ill boss, and stocks show it. So it wasn't until weeks after he fainted and was diagnosed did he actually begin his vacation. I had a feeling that the only reason Seto was still socially healthy at that point was because he had Pegasus to back up to-and Pegasus, with that golden eye, is not someone most bosses would want to mess with.  
  
  
  
We didn't understand. But at least we know now. Seto was anemic, and for at least four years. He had hidden it very well. But Mokuba probably took all of his strength, that fateful day he disappeared forever. Pegasus showed some hope. He seemed almost normal now because of Seto, although some time after that he still showed some signs of insanity. There was something really wrong about one of his statements;  
  
  
  
" Ow!" Pegasus had yelled. " Ow! Where did you learn how to do that?" He asked, as Seto took his fingers off his neck.  
" I'll share a secret with all of you." Seto answered sheepishly.  
" Oh?"  
" I'm allergic to aspirin."  
" What nonsense!"  
" Seriously!" Seto protested. " I get rashes all over my skin and stomachaches."  
" How can you survive without aspirin for so long?"  
" I don't, remember?"  
" Oh." Pegasus laughed. " Right." 


	9. Chapter 9

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 9  
  
In truth Yami was a little shakened by the adventure, although he probably would never admit it. I can imagine, seeing your own tomb, when you were thinking-Am I not here right now? Who is that there? And you know the answer. The person in there is you. But it is now a soulless corpse, like an empty bottle without water. Nameless.  
  
I guess it was a good thing we never opened it. Yami was old. Who knows what his body looks like now.  
  
Yugi seemed very quiet for a long time. Especially after the day Seto fainted and was brought to the hospital. Perhaps he was contemplating on that day as well.  
  
As for Seto, well, there were more white hair on his head then one may think.   
" Your hair is supposed to be brown." I said one day at Duelist Island, with Yugi, Yami, Joey and Tea there. " I'm the white head here."  
  
Seto chuckled dryly. " Ah well, they'll get white sooner or later."  
" But you're only sixteen." I protested.  
" What can you expect?" He asked.  
  
And he was right. What can I expect? He was a CEO of a company, a brother or father depending on which way you look at it, a very depressed teenager still suffering from deaths, a Duelist Champion that has grown very unconfident-well, white hair is the minor part of it.  
  
Speaking of which-  
  
" I use to play the violin." Seto stated one time. " After I was twelve-I stopped playing. From then on I just practice in my head. I can't play anymore."  
" You can always try. As long as you remember the notes-the finger technique should come back to you." I answered. " I play the violin too...I stopped some time ago."  
" Geez, Max." Seto laughed. " A painter and a musician? What kind of life did you lead-artist in the Baroque Period?"  
" Not that far." I smiled. " More of Romantic."  
  
This made all of us laugh.  
  
" Come along." I offered. " I have a very old violin-two, actually-"  
" Why do you have two?"  
" Hm? I'm allowed to have two, right?"  
" Oh, I guess?" Seto shook his head. Yugi and Yami gazed on curiously.  
  
" Isn't this interesting." Joey blinked. " Seto Kaiba actually plays the violin."  
" Don't get too excited." Seto warned. " It might sound...really bad."  
  
  
  
" Whoa, this is one great violin!" Seto cried excitedly as he played scales all over the place. " How much did this thing cost? It's the best violin I've ever played in my twelve year lifetime! This thing must of costed at least a hundred thousand bucks!" At this point the scales turned into arpeggios. " God, if I had known that you had such a great violin maybe I would have stolen it while trying to get into the castle!"  
  
We all laughed. " Right." I answered. " And play for my guards, that's what you'll do! Actually, this violin wasn't worth that much back then. The person that sold it to me didn't know how to play, so of course the value dropped."  
" Lucky bastard." Seto humphed. " This bow needs rosin."  
" Rosin?" I blinked. " I think I have rosin in my other case." Deciding that Seto ought to enjoy my precious violin-which in truth I had never let even Cecilia touch ( She never asked so I never offered) I fetched out my other violin, which wasn't as good as this one, and handed Seto the rosin. Seto wiped it on his bow, or my bow, and then attempted to play whatever he remembered from Strauss's Fledermaus Overture.  
  
Of course, me being a humble musician I attempted to join him, but when we reached the introduction to the waltz, it crashed and burned.  
  
" What the heck was that?" I asked.  
" Sorry." Seto answered sheepishly.  
" That bowing really needs improvement." I told Seto.   
  
On the second try of course, he, being the little genius that he was, copied Mozart and I was the one that messed up.  
  
Cecilia and the others must have thought this very amusing, but for once I didn't care really. I guess I realized Seto was just the one I needed to help me out of my madness. If Seto had been less independent I probably would have considered adopting him. But for now...  
  
  
  
There were some pleasant activities Seto and I went through. I guess he wasn't very comfortable with Cecilia since she made him lose Mokuba. It really wasn't her fault. It wasn't his either. I couldn't help feeling guilty for it all, and at the same time thankful. After all, Seto gave me back everything that I held dear and still do.   
  
In fact, I was distressed for a while during Seto's stay. Cecilia was just as thankful as I am and felt as guilty. Seto for the most part ignored her, and although I was unhappy I was able to understand his indifference. I guess that was what the poor boy needed all along. Someone to understand, or more importantly, parents.  
  
It's never too late, Seto.  
  
  
  
Sometime later at my study, I found another book that mentioned Seto. This one did not mention his past life much, but did mention what Yami had banished into the Shadow Realm. It was actually Seth, the jealous brother of Osiris, that had murdered his brother many millenniums ago.  
  
I called to Yugi and Yami, and showed them the book. Their reaction was very different from what I expected.  
  
Yami stated that he felt ill. Yugi went pale. They read the passage over and over again and kept on stating they couldn't believe it.  
  
" So Seth took over Seto when Yugi solved the puzzle?" Yami asked wearily.  
" Yes." I blinked, not really sure why they felt so unhappy. What's wrong with Seth taking over Seto?  
" Ugh, and is Seth the one that kidnapped Grandpa?" Yugi asked.  
" Yes?" I blinked again.  
  
They remained silent. And even though I can read their thoughts and feel their emotions, I could not make any sense of it at all.  
  
  
  
" Max, I do not giggle."  
" You just did."  
" I never giggled for ten years."  
" Not even when you were eight?"  
" No. I told you already, I do not giggle."  
" Well," Cecilia entered the room. " If that wasn't a giggle, then what is it?"  
" Can't I laugh?"  
" It was not a laugh, Setoboy." I smiled.  
" It's called light laughter."  
" That's what giggles are."  
" Look, you two are getting really annoying."  
" It's alright Seto." Cecilia sat down beside him. " You're allowed to giggle in this place. After all, there's no law saying that you can't giggle."  
  
Seto grimaced. " Heaven forbid. I don't giggle. Can we drop this topic now?"  
" You just did. Now we can."  
  
Seto threw up his hands in defeat. " Whatever."  
" Speaking of which," I leaned back. " I found out one of the pegs on that violin I lent you got really really loose."  
" It was always loose." Seto glared at me.   
" Ah, my boy, I hope you're right." I chuckled. " Otherwise, you'll probably be staying here for a lot longer then you may want. Speaking of which, what day is it? We're getting close to the Duelist Tournament this year."  
" You can change the rules for this year." Seto suggested, and before he finished his sentence I started up.  
" Yes! That is a great idea! But are you sure you're at my level?"  
" Hey, just yesterday when we dueled we lasted two hours without either of us losing life points, and kept on avoiding traps and such. If I'm not going to be your partner, then maybe Yugi will, but anyway you might as well try something new."  
" What is his idea?" Cecilia asked pleasantly.  
  
" Double Duelists." I said simply. Cecilia raised her eyebrows. " Hm. That sounds interesting."  
" For once, you can join two people together, instead of splitting them apart." Seto lied back. " That way, Joey and Yugi can play on one team-if they decide to join."  
" That has never really been done before-except with Yugi and Joey last year." I nodded.  
" Ah well. We can watch the kids like you do. You just drink your wine and I'll drink some..."  
" Milk."  
" No!"  
" Yes!"  
" Milk?"  
" Or chocolate, if you want."  
" What do you think I am?"  
" A sixteen-year-old teenager."  
" Oh, thanks a lot!"  
" You're welcome! It's about time you realize your proper age, Setoboy. If you don't, you can never hope to overcome that anemia."  
" Oh really?"  
" Do you realize how long you've had it?"  
  
At this Seto blinked, completely surprised, then glared at me defiantly. I smiled.  
" You poor child." Cecilia laughed. " It's a good thing everything happened the way it did, isn't it? You are great at everything, but when it comes to taking care of yourself, you are just as dependent as any other teenager."  
  
It was then when I scanned Seto's mind, I realized Cecilia did more then she had intended. Seto suddenly grew still. I smiled inwardly. Cecilia always had a talent of getting messages across. I scanned his mind again. Seto's face was expressionless, but inside he was beaming. Parents. Wasn't that what he always wanted?  
  
  
  
Several days later Seto began having nightmares. Nightmares about Mokuba, his parents, the Shadow Realm. Nightmares with Mokuba calling out to him. Monsters seizing his wrists and dragging him further into the abyss.  
  
At first during the daytime he wasn't too bothered by it. But then it started getting really serious. He started to wander off and get lost without realizing he had even started walking. He became very reserved. His mind closed its doors and bolted the locks.  
  
I was getting really scared. And I don't like being scared.  
  
  
  
Several weeks later I found Seto in his room. At first I thought he was practicing some moves with Duel Monsters. But it didn't seem like it...  
  
" No no," He muttered, collecting all the cards and putting them back into the deck. " Swords of Revealing Light first, after that is Arrow...No, Exodia. I'm missing Exodia. Exodia is in the middle. That's right...But I don't have Exodia. I don't have Exodia. I'll have to borrow from Yugi, but Yugi doesn't have all of them."  
  
For a while I stood behind him without him knowing, listening to him mutter to himself. Then he began to design a huge circular web, complex and illogical. The hole in the middle probably represented Exodia, but there were other monsters he was missing.  
  
I thought Seto had finally lost it.  
  
" What are you doing?" I asked.  
" Ra told me to do it." He quickly defended. " He said I'll have to if I can ever go there again. But I don't have all the necessary cards Max. What am I supposed to do?"  
" Ra told you to do what?" I asked. " Ra? Who's Ra?"  
" The God. I don't have Exodia-any of them, and I need at least one of its class to make this work."  
" Make what work?"  
" This."  
" What's this? What did Ra want you to do?"  
" Find the Heart of the Cards."  
  
That did not make sense, even for me.  
" How are you doing it?"  
" The cards have a pattern." Seto laid down one card, thought for a minute, then switched places with the Mystic Elf.   
  
That probably would have made sense if Seto didn't mention everything else.  
" Reaper of Cards goes after the Dark Magician-wait, that doesn't make sense. I'll do that later. White Hat goes with-that doesn't make sense either-"  
" None of this makes sense to me." I blinked. " What are you trying to do?"  
" Find the Heart of the Cards."  
" You said that already."  
" Magical Hats and Dark Magician-that's right. And then the box, Celtic Guardian goes on top-"  
" Seto, you're losing it."  
" Mystic Elf doesn't go there. She goes with the Elf Guardian. But then the Elf Guardian isn't supposed to be there either-"  
" Seto,"  
" The Virus goes here,"  
" Seto, listen to me. Seto, are you listening?"  
" Hold on, I'm almost done."  
" You're not even close and it's time for a break. How long have you been at this?"  
" Since I woke."  
" That's six hours."  
" I can't stop now, I'm so close."  
" You don't have Exodia. I have no idea what you're doing but I know you won't be an inch closer if you don't have Exodia in front of you, so just quit it."  
" I can't!" Seto covered his ears. " I can't! Stop it! Leave me alone!"  
  
I sighed.  
  
" Seto. You can always finish it later, and maybe I can help you. Maybe Yugi and Yami can too-no one is going to touch it."  
" But I'm so close-"  
" You're going nowhere." I was convinced the poor boy had finally cracked. " Now why don't you join me for some lunch? Perhaps you can explain everything."  
" I need to finish this. I'm almost done."  
" You don't have Exodia."  
" I'll borrow from someone."  
" Borrow! What outrage!"  
" Or maybe I can create one. Blue Eyes White Dragon goes with Red Eyes,"  
" Seto, slow down. Why are you trying to find the Heart of the Cards, or whatever you're doing?"  
" There's a spell." Seto suddenly grew excited, as if he wasn't already. " It can bring dead souls back to life."  
  
I sputtered. " You're trying-don't tell me you're-"  
" So I can place this over here-"  
" You're trying to bring Mokuba back?"  
" Sure, why not? It will give me a reason to live again. Curse of Dragon goes down there. No, that doesn't make sense. Ugh! I know I had it there for a moment,"  
" Seto, you're losing it." I repeated.  
" I know, I'm almost done. I'll be down there in a minute."  
" Seto, this is madness."  
" Hehe, I know." Seto giggled, and that was a real giggle. " Jolly! Sagi goes down there,"  
" Seto,"  
" Now I need Toon World to create a cartoon Exodia."  
" What?!"  
" Now what was the spell? Mash-no, I can't say it right now, the thing's not finished."  
" Seto."  
" But maybe I can remember the other spell."  
" Seto."  
" This can't go wrong now, not after I worked so hard-"  
" Seto!"  
  
Seto started and suddenly stared at me as if he noticed me for the first time.  
" Seto, what's wrong with you?" I asked.  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
" I need to get this done."  
" I know." I said quietly, to calm him down and not show that I was just as nervous and edgy as he was by now. " But you ought to rest and pull yourself together. Open your mind to me, Seto."  
" I can't do that." He started pleading. " Please Max, I can't, you have to understand, I mean-"  
" You have something to hide." I stated quietly.  
  
He fell silent.  
" Whatever you're hiding, Seto," I warned, " It isn't going to do you any good. I'm not going to force you for now, but you have to understand that I do have strong powers. Quite frankly, I will tear your brain apart if I have to."  
" I'm sorry." Seto started sobbing. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"  
" Why?" I asked, holding him by his shoulders. " What's wrong?"   
  
I was thoroughly convinced that this is too much. Even an insane Seto Kaiba wouldn't be acting like this...  
  
  
  
/ Right.../ Yami spoke after a while. / But I still don't understand. What do you mean, find the Heart of the Cards? What is he trying to do in the first place?/  
  
I understood what Yami was saying.  
/ He was trying to rebuild Mokuba's soul./ I answered. / He's using the cards to perform some kind of spell./  
/ Madness!/ Yami cried. / That kind of spell is forbidden! There's a curse to every spell like that!/  
/ There are more, you mean?/  
/ Yes, some are spells that erase souls from the world. In Mokuba's case that's different, but if you erase sould from this realm, you are imprinted with a curse. Others are creating a new monster, which you were never able to do, and some are wiping away monsters. But Seto's is a big spell. No one is allowed to do that./  
/ Speaking of which,/ I said through my dark powers. / What exactly is the curse?/  
  
There was a long hesitation.  
  
  
  
Seto wouldn't tell me exactly what the spell was. No matter how much I tried to persuade him he just sat there and sobbed. Why was he crying so much all of the sudden? Was his inner child taking over?  
  
And then the door broke down and went up in a flash. But during that flash I felt his emotions. He was making a sacrifice. A horrible sacrifice. But what it was I cannot tell. And that scared me more than anything. What's happening to him? What was he about to do?  
  
  
  
/ He is going to sacrifice his soul for Mokuba./ Yami said slowly. / So if he succeeds completing the Ring of the Cards, we will lose Seto Kaiba forever./ 


	10. Chapter 10

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 10  
  
The day Seto first broke down was probably the most humiliating for him, as humiliating as it was creepy for Yami. I don't really blame him-a legend fainting because he's anemic? Never heard of it. But not withstanding, he admitted that he was very much " chagrined", was his word for it, and I remember Joey went up to him and patted him on the shoulder.  
  
" That's okay pal." He had stated. " It happens to the best of us."  
" Oh, I'm not unhappy about that." Seto answered. " It's just that it also happens to the worst of us."  
  
This, for some reason, seemed to be extremely amusing to the Pegasuses and the doctors, who immediately started laughing hysterically as if the statement actually made sense. I know Pegasus might be a little insane, but his wife? The MD's?  
  
Yami also found this awfully amusing, but he didn't laugh that much, being reticent by nature. After thinking over this interesting statement somewhat, I realized in a logical way it was both funny and sane.  
  
  
  
Tea and Honda had somehow persuaded Yami and I to enter the tournament. I still didn't understand why. Of course, we had to ask Joey to be our partner since there are some people in the world who know I don't have a brother, twin or no.   
  
In truth, I didn't really want to go. I've literally had enough of dueling, not because it was boring or I was psyched, but because I figured it was too dishonest. It's kind of like how many people don't want to go to court. Too many tricks. I've had enough of tricks to last me a lifetime.  
  
But this time it was actually fun. Seto had privately made Pegasus promise not to use magic, for their benefit or for the defeat of their opponents, since they had placed a challenge with a reward of I forgot which. He also told Pegasus that it would be more interesting to find out what the player does after he lays the card down rather then to know beforehand, which in some cases makes sense, and in some cases,  
  
Well, makes sense too, but doesn't fit...?  
  
  
  
The duels lasted a whole week! Every morning and every afternoon, twice each day, with different duels going on. There were about eight duels each morning and afternoon, which was a lot. Then, the semi-finals, lasting about a week after that. It was fun. Joey and I had a great time, and when it came to dueling Pegasus and Seto we lost.  
  
Seto, believe it or not, is actually much better when he doesn't use his shield, and he probably scared the guts out of people because he actually joked with me while we played. Did they expect Seto to hate me for his defeat? I don't know. I remember one of the good ones.  
  
" Yugi!" He had called. " By the way, if you ever retire early, can you lend me some of your cards?"  
" Like what?" I shouted back, incredulous, in front of the whole black audience. " You have all the cards possible!"  
" I can use Exodia!" He laughed. " Even three of them! By the way, are you going to put that card down anytime soon?"  
" Seto!" I yelled, indignant, realizing that I was holding that card in midair while yelling at him, and blushed bright red in the face. Seto and Pegasus just laughed at me.  
  
  
  
I remember a time when I was dreaming. It was a while after the duelist tournament, with everyone going back amazed and content. I dreamed that Seto and I were in a park. Yami wasn't there. Joey wasn't there. No one was there except us.  
  
Seto came over the same way Yami and I had come over to him before. He sat down without asking though. It was dark. The sky was clear, dotted with thousands of stars. The wind was blowing, a cold, fresh wind of night, and crickets clicking at their songs.  
  
" Very beautiful, this place." He stated.  
" Hm?" I blinked. " What do you mean?"  
" This place." Seto answered. " I don't know how you came here. But this was the place I go when I need to think. I remember that first day Mom and Dad died. Mokuba was sleeping and I was staring at the ceiling. I was wondering if we would make it out alive, if either of us have a future."  
" And you came here?"  
" It was the first time. I came here often." Seto leaned forward, looking down.  
  
" You're very lucky, you know."  
" What? Living in a dump like Domino, trying to run a shop with my Grandpa in order to earn enough money for food?"  
" You don't understand." Seto answered. " When you get older, money counts. Money is survival. When you are young, family is the chief thing. I know what you want though."  
" Oh? What do I want?" I had dared him.  
" Oh, if you're thinking I'm going to say that you want money and a good home, that's not what I meant. I know you don't care about it. Sure, if you could have it, you would be glad to. But everything comes with a price."  
" Everything does." I answered.  
" Everything." Seto nodded. " You want to be left in peace. You want to live without problems, without people like Pegasus or some crazy maniac to deal with, without kidnapping your grandfather or your friend's sister. Yugi, all of us want that. But it's too much to ask for now. Too much."  
" What do you want, then?" I asked. " Do you want anything more?"  
" No. I too, want to be left alone, in peace." Seto answered. " But now I just want someone to care for me."  
" We care for you, Seto."  
" You don't understand." Seto repeated. " You don't know what I'm asking for. I ask for much more. I ask for someone who would help me in times of need without a second thought. I ask for someone who will place me before all the rest of the world."  
  
At first it sounded too much, crazy, insane, But then Seto added,  
  
" I ask for parents."  
  
  
  
" It's not that I'm worried about." Seto muttered. " It's that they saw me faint. This is going to be very bad for my ego."  
" Who cares about egos?"  
" Adults." And he was right.  
  
" If my parents were alive," He glanced at me for that one, " I would be able to FAINT."  
  
We were silent. Yami noticed Seto's look and turned to me. He asked a silent question.  
  
I said nothing. I didn't understand.  
  
  
  
  
Later that day I went to find Seto. Seto was out in the meadow feeding squirrels. It was actually very pleasant to watch him do something ordinary.  
  
Sitting down beside him, we watched the squirrel nibble at the peanut shell.  
  
" Was the dream real then?" I asked.  
" Very much." Seto answered. " That power only reawakened recently. Before it never happened."  
  
We were silent for a minute.  
" Must be hard."  
" It is."  
" Living all this time without any support."  
" I had Mokuba."  
" Was he really enough?"  
" No."  
  
Silence.  
  
" How long has it been now?"  
" Six years."  
" Six?"  
" Yeah, well, I only lost it when I was twelve. Does that explain much?"  
" I guess. Six years. Whoa."  
" It won't be too long for you Yugi." Seto smiled. " For most people, six years is very short. Ten years, twenty years, that's long. Six years is nothing. It passes like a breeze."  
  
I looked at him sadly.  
  
" It's kind of why I created a shield in the first place Yugi." Seto answered. " Had to survive. Had to give myself a future, and for Mokuba too. It's the only way really. I was never a good boy to my parents, always wanting this, wanting that. They always relented. When Mom was diagnosed with leukemia, I didn't understand. I kept on wanting her to take me out into the beach. She relented. She fell unconscious. She never woke up again. My dad, well, I kept on asking him if I could have this, have that, if I can have this candy, that cereal. He relented. One day I asked the impossible. I asked if we can visit Mom's grave. He didn't want to go. He hit me. Hard. I cried. I ran out into the street. He chased after me. The truck came. He never went back home."  
  
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Seto smiled bitterly.  
  
" I'm not a kid anymore Yugi." He ran his fingers through his hair with his free hand. " See that?" He held it out. A white hair stuck in between the brown. " That's proof. Six years, trying to survive. That's why many creatures don't live long. Dogs, they only live for seventeen years, more or less. Horses, twenty years. Humans, forty, until people started playing with fate. I'm sixteen years old. I have been for four months. The white hair appeared when I was fourteen. Can you believe that?"  
  
I shook my head. No, I can't believe that.  
" So many things you don't understand Yugi." Seto sighed. " I am not cold hearted. I believed in the Heart of the Cards. But sometimes, survival is more important. That time I had Mokuba. Mokuba. He's the only thing left of me, of my parents, of the life I once lived. Your grandfather's Blue Eyes was a threat. And when you live my life, you can't lose. You lose, only once, even once, and that is fatal. Then I can let go, Yugi. I can just let go and give up everything. Mokuba would not stand a chance. My place would end." Seto withdrew his hand.   
  
" If my parents were alive, Yugi," He continued. " If my parents were alive, I would be able to lose. I would not care if you had a Blue Eyes White Dragon. I would not care if you had a millennium puzzle and defeated me. I would not care if Kaiba Corps failed. I'd have better support."  
  
" But you're doing the supporting now."  
" Yes."  
" What about Pegasus?" I asked. Then I blinked. " Max, I mean?"  
" Max?" Seto stared at me, then he suddenly looked angry. " Why do you mention Max?"  
" Well, isn't it apparent that he cares deeply for you?" I was getting a little nervous. " I mean, Cecilia and Pegasus practically want to adopt you-"  
" Adopt me!" Seto's voice grew slightly louder. " Max! Cecilia!" His eyes flashed in reserved rage. I paled.  
" I was only wondering..."  
" Wondering!" Seto blinked, and I realized I shouldn't have spoken. " You are too open Yugi! You are too innocent! Too ignorant!" He stood up and left me there.  
  
I had no idea what was wrong.  
  
  
  
The following day Seto went crazy again. He started working at the cards, putting them in some strange pattern. This time he tried spells, but only created fire and water.  
  
Pegasus called us. We had to calm him down. Yami had to create a spell to put him to sleep.  
  
The day after that Seto was normal again, but Pegasus and Cecilia kept an eye on him. We all did, actually. But Seto got something very interesting from the internet. Pegasus and Cecilia had heard the other version, but Seto decided we should hear it, since all of us were sophomores and not seniors.  
  
" This is called Cow Economic Theories." Seto sat down with two pieces of paper in his hand, printed out directly from the computer. We all sat down.  
  
" Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one cow and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You retire on the income."  
  
" Okay?" Joey blinked.  
  
"Enron Venture Capitalism. You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull."  
  
" I don't get it." Joey blinked.  
  
" They lie. Have you ever heard of the collapse?" Pegasus began laughing at Joey, who smacked his forehead.  
  
" An American Corporation. You have two cows. You sell one cow, and force the other cow to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead."  
  
At this we burst out laughing, even Cecilia and Pegasus, who never get tired of jokes like these.  
  
" A French Corporation. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows."  
  
" Hey! That really insults the French!" Tristan chuckled. Tea whacked him on the head.  
  
" A Japanese Corporation. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide."  
  
Joey snorted.  
  
" Pegasus!"  
" I didn't do anything." Pegasus started. " I only created Duel Monsters."  
" Or rather, reawakened them." Seto laughed, as Tea sat back in her couch next to me.  
  
" German Corporation. You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for a hundred years, eat once a month, and milk themselves."  
" That's good, actually." Yami stated.  
" It is." Seto answered, with a mischievous glint in his eye. " Now if only I can do that."  
  
We laughed.  
  
" Oh, this is a good one. A British Corporation. You have two cows. Both are mad."  
  
At this all of us started laughing hard.  
" That's so cute!" Tea murmured. Seto just smiled. How does he not laugh at this?  
  
" An Italian Corporation. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch."  
  
" What does that mean?"  
" You lost the money? I don't know." Seto shrugged. " A Russian Corporation. You have two cows. You count them once and learn you have eight cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have twelve cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka."  
  
" Drunken CEO!" Tea giggled.  
  
" This is a good one. A Swiss Corporation. You have five hundred cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them."  
" That's true, actually." Pegasus blinked. " I haven't heard that one before.  
" Sure." Seto nodded.  
  
" A Hindu Corporation. You have two cows. You worship them."  
" That's just mean!"  
" I know, right?"  
  
" This is an even better one! A Chinese Corporation. You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them, and you claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsmen who reported the numbers."  
  
" Chinese Communism." Was our response.  
  
" An Israeli Corporation...um, I don't get it. It says...So, there are these two Jewish cows...right? They open a factory, an ice cream store, and sell movie rights. They send their calves to John Hopkins to become doctors. So, who needs people?"  
  
" That's stupid."  
" Yeah, tell me about it."  
  
" You have two cows. You eat them."  
" Which one is that?"  
" Arkansas. Don't ask."  
  
We laughed again. But when I looked at Pegasus I noticed something. He looked uneasy. His eyes were narrowed slightly. He was suspicious.  
  
Seto had cut off their link.  
  
  
  
Days later, one week before Seto was scheduled to go back home, I went to his room to get his deck so he could duel Pegasus again, and try to beat him. I noticed a photo album lying on the desk. It was opened, but a piece of paper was covering the first picture.  
  
Curious, I brushed the paper aside.  
  
The first picture was Seto when he was about four or five. He was holding a very tiny violin towards the camera, probably his first. His teeth were wide apart, as most children are, and he had a bright smile on his face. There was a cone hat on his head, suggesting it was a birthday party. There was a brown haired woman next to him, holding his shoulders.  
  
God, she was beautiful...  
  
The next one was when he was a little older. There was a toddler next to him and he was grimacing at him. I thought the toddler might have been Mokuba. Seto was frowning while several of his friends were laughing at his brother, a girl was holding Mokuba's hand.  
  
The third one was when Seto was about nine. He was holding a violin with a group of boys and girls, also holding violins. There was a tall woman, different from his mother. He was much more mature now, and not as smiling.  
  
" That was a concert." I heard. I whipped around and nearly dropped the album. Seto was looking over my shoulder. " See that boy with the freckles? He's Albert. He was about twelve years old at the time, and he was really good. The girl was Camille. She wasn't as good as Albert, she was a year younger then me. How old was I then? Nine. My dad took this picture. That woman over there? She's my teacher. She moved to New York and performed in Carnegie Hall a couple of times. I forgot her name."   
  
I nodded. I was surprised that Seto sounded almost pleased.  
  
The next picture was when Seto was a lot bigger. He was holding Mokuba by the shoulders and had a cold expression on his face. They were standing in front of a zoo.  
  
" That was when I was twelve." Seto answered the unasked question. " We were adopted that same day."  
" You didn't look like your twelve year old self." I remarked.  
" No, I didn't." Seto answered. " By then I cried the last tears I had left. See this picture? That was Mokuba's birthday. He turned eight, I think, which means I was...fourteen, or thirteen. I'm not sure which. He had friends, very few, but friends. I invited several close relatives of my other father." He frowned. " they ruined the party. I never did it again. See that picture? That was the first duel. I was thirteen...right. I won the duel. It didn't matter to me really, but Mokuba insisted I take the trophy and a picture. He was the one who took it, so it was a little sloppy, but that's fine."  
" You had a lot of sweet memories, Seto."  
" I guess I did." Seto smiled. " But the pain is still there."  
" You don't seem to be affected."  
" Ah Yugi." He answered. " When one cried all the time, eventually all the tears dry up. And the next time you cry they are no longer your tears. That's how people die, Yugi. See that first picture? I cried when I saw that picture when I was ten. It was my mommy over there. Isn't she beautiful? But she's no longer my mommy. That's no longer me. I'm no longer Seti. I'm Seto Kaiba." 


	11. Chapter 11

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 11  
  
He couldn't lose. That was the whole point. He has to be perfect, in order to survive. And yet that is too much for him. Too much. No one can be perfect-that is insanity. Somehow though, it seems to be the only thing the world can accept.  
  
Just when things were getting better we received the most powerful blow.  
  
Pegasus knew, he didn't tell until too late. We were eating. The doorbell rang.  
  
Actually, this particular story began much earlier that day, in the morning, when all of us, Yugi, Bakura, Tristan and I all noticed that both Cecilia and Pegasus seem strangely uneasy. We suddenly began to keep a close eye on them. Seto probably did as well.   
  
The day dragged on and they became even more uncomfortable. We looked at each other and muttered what was going on. But there was no answer.  
  
The uneasiness broke momentarily when Pegasus and Seto played a duet for fun. Strangely they played nothing technical. They were making fun of Tea, actually. It was some kind of song from an opera by Tchaikovsky, the first tableau, and they were playing the singing part, with Pegasus fingering at his viola which we only discovered that day and Seto playing the soprano part. They were laughing and saying the words as they played. It was a beautiful song.  
  
" And did you hear, him singing all night long,  
Within the grove, as if his heart were aching?"  
" And in the hush, that fell as day was breaking,  
And then the shepherd piped his plaintive song"  
" And did you hear, the voice of love, and did you hear?  
He sang his love! And then the shepherd piped his plaintive simple song,  
And did you hear? And did you hear? And did you hear,  
The voice of love."  
  
" And did you sigh, at songs of love's distress,  
Were not his voice, and face and form entrancing?  
And slowly through, the woods he came advancing,  
With longing looks of love and wistfulness."  
  
" And did you sigh, and did you sigh, and did you sigh?  
And did you sigh! To meet his eye with longing looks of love's distress  
And did you sigh? And did you sigh? And did you sigh,  
And did you sigh?"  
  
  
Then Pegasus muttered something about Russian, and they had to retune his viola. Seto muttered something about pegs and broken forks.  
  
" Once the kid that also studies with me-he melted his tuning fork over a fire by accident."  
" How can you melt something like that?"  
" Don't know. And by accident too!"  
" You're joking."  
" I'm not."  
" You are. That's impossible. Fires in houses are not that hot."  
" Tell that to the tuning fork. He even brought it. The thing looked like some kind of squished metal. Luckily, tuning forks aren't that expensive." Seto chuckled.  
  
  
  
Yugi and I went outside for the afternoon. Cecilia took us to one of the more pleasant caves. There were no skeletons or rocks falling from ceilings. Just a nice, cozy place where you simply lie down and sleep if you want to and won't wake up with a backache.   
  
" Maximillian use to paint all the time. And since painting and music intertwine so well, he also played violin most of the time too. The viola he doesn't touch much since he doesn't need to; they have the same technique. Before we were married he use to write poems and send me paintings, or give me a quiet piece that's both romantic and beautiful. He used to be sweet then."  
" That's so kind." I answered. " But it seems that he's much better now."  
" Thanks to Seto actually." Cecilia answered thoughtfully. " We were planning on having a child, that's when it happened."  
" What happened?"  
" A drunken driver drove into the sidwalk lane at a red light." Cecilia answered. Yugi and I felt a pang of fear. " Funny, wasn't that what happened to Mokuba? I don't really remember."  
  
Yugi and I stared at each other. We said nothing.  
  
  
  
  
For a long time that day Seto chatted merrily, but we all knew he was suspicious like we were. Cecilia was a good actress, much better at it then Pegasus, at least, who remained quiet most of the time. Seto and Pegasus played another game, to which they tied, much to the distress of both. Pegasus was not a bad player.  
  
Then Yugi and Seto dueled. Seto defeated him, but it was a close match. I played him, we tied.  
  
Basically we were bored out of our minds that particular day. None of us felt like going out after that cave, and none of us wanted to watch television either.   
  
  
  
It happened at dinner. We were of course, eating, as most people do during dinners. Croquet appeared at the entrance to the dining room.  
  
" Master Pegasus, there is a visitor, and I think you may find him interesting."  
  
At this, Pegasus and Cecilia looked at each other and there was a brief but uneasy silence.  
" Tell him to wait in the living room." Pegasus answered. " I'll meet him shortly."  
  
Croquet nodded and left. Seto placed his elbows on the table and looked at Pegasus strangely.  
  
" Max, you feel like you're going to have a nervous breakdown."  
  
That might not make sense to most, but Pegasus and Seto had long ago revealed how they had a mental connection. Pegasus is the one that reads minds. Seto is the one that tells emotions.  
  
" Well?" Seto tilted his head. " Is there something going on that I don't know?"  
  
For a long moment Seto and Pegasus looked at each other in the eye as if trying to stare each other down. Then Pegasus shifted.  
  
" I'll tell you later." He answered, a little too quickly, and stood up. Seto, however, didn't seem to be too willing to let him off that easily.  
  
" Max, you've been acting strange the whole day. That game we had you seemed to focus too much, and then you've been awfully quiet. What's going on? Why aren't you telling me?"  
" Seto, leave him alone. We promise to tell you when the time is right." Cecilia pleaded.  
  
Seto blinked, and sat down slowly. Pegasus, as if freed, walked out of the room. There was an uneasy silence again.  
  
" Gee. That's some weird conversation." Joey commented. " So, when are you gonna leave? This is some kind of paradise. I don't think you should anyway, not until you get cured."  
" How do you know I'm not cured?" Seto asked.   
" Well, for one thing." I answered. " You still look awfully pale and awfully thin. Fine. That's natural. But still, you ought to stay a little while longer, just in case."  
  
Seto raised his eyebrows. " Alright? But I still have a company to run, you know. Alright! Now I've had it. What the heck is Max doing over there?"  
" Seto-"  
" He is annoyed at something." Seto raised his eyebrows again. " Come on Cecilia, just tell me."  
" It's for your own good Seto."  
" How? I'm sixteen for heaven's sake!"  
" You're only sixteen."  
" And what is that supposed to mean?"  
" There are some things you're not ready for."  
" Like?"  
" Mokuba's death, death of your parents, Mokuba's soul being erased." Cecilia looked angry, but she was calm. " Seto."  
" Cecilia, is this all about me all of the sudden?" Seto looked confused. " I really have no connection with anyone other then Kaiba Corps, and those men have no reason to search for me all the way here."  
" You still have one connection left."  
" What-"  
  
Cecilia paled and her anger was flushed away.   
" So you're trying to protect me."  
" That's what we have always been doing."  
" From what? I don't need any protection. I'm perfectly capable of handling anything."  
" Are you? Because this is a blast from the past. You're not ready-" Cecilia fell quiet.  
  
" From the past?" Seto looked at us. " What? I..."  
  
He whirled around and went. Cecilia stood up abruptly and held him back with his wrist. He turned around.  
" You can't go."  
" Let go!" Seto flung her hand off.  
" Seto, wait!" Cecilia followed him. We ran after her. When Seto reached the living room, he suddenly stopped and stood stiff and erect, his hands flung to the sides in a frozen position. We caught up with him.  
  
  
  
Pegasus turned around slowly. The man he was talking to looked up with him.  
  
We gasped at who the man was.  
  
It was Seto! 


	12. Chapter 12

Child at Heart  
  
Chapter 12  
  
I felt a chill come up from my stomach. Who is that boy? He looked exactly like Seto. Same chilling blue eyes, brown hair, tall height. He was much healthier then Seto was, but otherwise they were the same. And Seto was regaining his health anyways.  
  
" Who the heck are you?" I asked.  
  
The stranger flinched. " Nkil. My name is Nkil." He answered. " I guess you're Seto."  
  
Seto began to tremble. He flung his arm out to catch the wall to support himself. Tristan came and held his shoulders.  
" Are you alright?" Tristan asked.  
" Geez, what do you think?" Joey asked. " How would you feel if you see your own image in another person?"  
" What are you doing here, Nkil." Seto growled. Pegasus sighed and Nkil stepped back.  
" I know you're angry at me, Seti." He pleaded. " But-"  
" Angry?" Seto raised his eyebrows. " So now you remember."  
" I couldn't find you."  
" You had six years. I wrote."  
" But-"  
" Did it ever occur to you that you still have a younger brother?" Seto asked dangerously. " I don't care about what you did to me, Nkil. But what did you ever do for Mokuba? You ran away like the coward that you are."  
" You know him?" Joey asked. Seto and Nkil ignored him.  
" Seto, I'm sorry..."  
" Sorry doesn't matter anymore, whoever you are." Seto turned around.   
" Nkil, give it up." Pegasus answered from behind him. " He pushed you away from all his memories. You might as well leave."  
" I'm not leaving until you hear me out, Seti."  
" Seti. Get real. I'm no longer ' Seti'. I'm Seto Kaiba. I don't suppose you ever look at newspapers, whoever you are."  
" Fine Seto." Nkil answered sadly. " But I'm not leaving. I can explain."  
" Explain what?" Seto asked. " Explain why you never answered or why you left in the first place?"  
" I left because I was afraid."  
" And you thought I wasn't. Some brother you are."  
" Wait a minute, you two were twins?" Joey asked.  
" Are you an idiot?" Seto answered. " You entered the finals in the Duelist Kingdom Tournament and you didn't figure that out until now? But then again, we were twins, but we aren't now. He's just some stranger, sharing my face and my brother's name."  
  
Every word seemed to hit Nkil like physical blows. I took pity on him, because I didn't understand Seto. Nkil was much easier to understand.  
  
" Maybe you should give him a chance, Seto."  
" Give him a chance?" Seto blinked, as if my suggestion was ridiculous. " Give him a chance? After what that traitor did to me? Ever since our parents died he went and never came back. I knew where he was. He went off to the wonderful land of Egypt, with all its dumb pyramids. I knew the address. He was with one of the aristocrats, living a wonderful life. In fact, he was even in the newspapers, playing the piano, and going to England, earning scholarships at Oxford. Sure, he's probably even smarter then I am, that rodent. But he doesn't have too much of a heart to balance his brain. I wrote letters to him every night for four years. That's right! Even when I started Kaiba Corps, built it up myself, I wrote to him for two more years. He never answered any of them. Then I just gave up. It was useless. And now, he just comes busting into my life as if he has that privilege. Well, wrong Nkil! Did it take you this long to realize that your ten-year-old brother is dead? Did it take you this long to realize that your twin fainted during work and was anemic? Did it take you this long to read those letters?"  
" Seto, calm down, you're going to hurt yourself." Pegasus went over and held his shoulders.  
" How can I calm down?" Seto cried. And with those words his rod came to view. Nkil stepped back, frightened. " Did it ever occur to you that you have a family? Did it ever occur to you that those letters mean something? I didn't write those on a computer or laptop! I handwrote it! I took the time each night to write in my own handwriting, with my own hand, with my own energy and poured out all my heart to ask you to come back. It's over, Nkil! When I give up, I don't give in again!"  
  
With that there was a bright flash. We were sent back with the force of the blow. Pegasus jumped back, away from it. When our eyes cleared...  
  
Nkil had a silver rod. He was blocking Seto's golden one. Seto was trembling with shock.  
" You have one too." He whispered. Nkil nodded mutely, retrieving his rod and it evaporated.  
" Seto." Nkil began. " I never wrote back because...I didn't want to remember. Didn't want to remember that I had a twin and brother. Mom and Dad had always been so kind to me. So I forgot for a while..."  
  
Seto sighed, his rod vanished.  
" Then when you became famous I remembered again." Nkil admitted. " But I thought that everything was alright. You were so successful. I thought you didn't need me. I did try to write, but always ended up keeping the letters because they just didn't...tell what I was feeling."  
  
There was a silence. Yami helped me stand.  
" I still have the letters Seto." Nkil said quietly. " I read them every night. When you stopped I thought you didn't remember me anymore. And I thought you wouldn't waste time reading your brother's letters."  
  
Then, before our eyes, Seto crumbled.  
  
  
  
" That was a poor excuse."  
" It's the truth all the same."  
" Do you really expect your brother to accept that?" I asked.  
" No, not really."  
" Nkil, do you have any idea what you just did to him?" Yami asked.  
  
Nkil did not answer.  
" He's a different person now." I said gently. " I don't suppose you can call him Seti anymore, or whatever you called him. It's not going to do either of you any good."  
" I love him. You know?" Nkil suddenly blurted out. " I always did, but I guess he hates me now."  
" Hey, we don't know Seto very well." Yami smiled. " But I can promise you one thing. If you gave him enough time, he'll forgive you. Trust me."  
" How? After all-"  
" Listen," I began. " Yami's right. You're his twin brother. You're the only family he has. When Seto comes to his senses, he'll realize that. Seto's not stupid. He isn't heartless either."  
  
Nkil wisely remained silent.  
  
  
  
" Seto?" I shook at his shivering body. " Seto! Wake up! Seto, god, now I knew why Mokuba called us so quickly that time. Seto!"  
" What's wrong?" Yami entered the room.   
" This is creeping me out Yami." I answered. " Seto's not waking up. But he's breathing normally and all. Should we call Nkil or Pegasus or Cecilia or should we ask Dr. Tea?"  
" Should we call at all?" Yami blinked. " Hm. I don't think it is serious..."  
" What are you talking about?"  
" He's a little cold." Yami answered briefly. " But he looks rather normal. I think he's fine, he's just very tired and shocked by everything that happened today. I'm rather surprised myself by Nkil. I don't know that Seto had a twin."  
" I didn't know that Seto was capable of pushing several years of memories away from his mind." I shivered. " It's kind of like that time with Shadi when he invaded our minds to look for whoever stole Pegasus's eye."  
" In any case, it has been even harder on him." Yami answered. " Leave him alone Yugi. That's all anyone can do."  
  
  
  
It turned out that we didn't half understand Seto as much as we thought, because although we reasoned he was smart we forgot the fact that he was stubborn as well.  
  
Was it because he saw Tea's mother? Perhaps. Because he suddenly fell quiet. We came back to Domino and Seto went back to work, as if trying to kill himself with it. Nkil was desperate, asking for help, but Seto would no longer accept any of it. We asked Pegasus. Pegasus just shook his head.   
  
" Let him be, Yugi." He answered. " The world is unfair."  
  
Nkil tried to earn Seto's trust. Seto ignored him. We learned that Seto was the oldest of the twins, and Nkil was younger. Seto had always wanted to be a doctor, but Nkil was the doctor now. Seto had been carefree before as a child. One look at him and you'll know how he changed.  
  
Yes, Nkil was sorry. Like Seto had said. Sorry is not enough.  
  
  
  
In time, we were right. Seto did relent, but no one understood the sacrifice he made. Nkil was the ultamite blow; if Seto had been able to truly hate him, he probably would still be here. The day he loved Nkil was the day he died. 


	13. Epilogue

Child at Heart  
  
Epilogue  
  
We didn't understand.  
  
When he died he looked so innocent, so beautiful, it was hard to believe he had ever tried to harm any of us. And he never did, really, he had only struggled for his survival as well as Mokuba's.  
  
We didn't understand. We didn't understand that Seto gave up all his dreams for the sake of Mokuba. When he was ten he was adopted. He could have gone to medical school if he wanted to, but then Mokuba would be helpless. He needs money for medical school. He loses it, he doesn't earn it. And so Seto had given up on this dream and became something he had most loathed; a business boss. To make money as soon as possible for Mokuba's sake. Everything was for Mokuba. So when Mokuba died everything he lived for died.  
  
We didn't understand. We didn't understand what it is like to live for someone else. We never had to. We laughed for the sake ourselves, cried for our own despair. We never poured our soul for someone else. We never had to survive for someone else. For Seto, death would have been easier.  
  
If Nkil hadn't come back, would Seto be gone? Would he have fallen asleep and never woke up? Perhaps, perhaps not. As Seto had always told us, what is the use of what ifs in the past? The what if is for the future. The past already happened, nothing can change. Seto had spent the last days trying to search for himself again. He had lost everything, and was trying to recover them. He tried to find his heart. His happiness. And most of all, he tried to find his soul.  
  
When we truly knew Seto, it was too late. Pegasus showed us a manuscript notebook. Seto had worked on it during his stay at Duelist Kingdom. It was a violin concerto, with flutes, oboes, clarinets, bassoons, French horns, English horns, timpanis and cymbals. There were violins and violas, cellos and basses, trumpets and trombones, tubas and harps. All of them, transposed correctly.  
  
The beginning was sad. It was a sweet and slow melody, filled with a strange harmony that infer to memories, as if someone was fondly remembering past dreams. For a while the melody continued, filled with longing, and there was an abrupt change. This time it was sneaky, filled with laughter, as if a child was playing pranks on someone. We could almost hear his laughter, his giggling, sneaking a bite of something when his mother wasn't looking. The French horn and the trumpet blasted their joy. The violins joined. The timpani joined.  
  
Then, there was a moment of frenzy, as if the composer didn't know where he was going. This way, he was uncertain. That way, he was still. Then, a huge downturn from the cellos, and all the happy times were over. Fear, rage, sorrow and despair, as the horns and the violins clashed together. There was doubt, and then all faded into quiet.  
  
Trumpets started. Cymbals began. The soloist played triumphantly, as if winning a war. Then there was more, cymbal after cymbal, as the violin went on winning. There was a huge crash, and then all that was over. Doubt returned. The search for hope returned.  
  
The ending was sad. It was a sweet and slow melody, filled with a strong harmony that infer to memories, as if someone was fondly remembering past dreams. For a while the melody searched, searching for something that wasn't there. And finally the music slowed, the music softened, the music stopped, the music ended. The concerto was finished. Just as Seto was.  
  
  
  
Praise! Praise him! The audience cried. The violinist bowed at Carnegie Hall. Praise the violinist! Bravo!  
  
The violinist stepped down and shook hands with the the conductor. Pegasus and Cecilia sat beside us on the balconey. We watched as the crowd begged for another piece, refusing to stop clapping so the violinist can come out and offer a free piece. What a marvel! The piece was beautiful! The violinist must be a genius! Such technique! Such musicality! Such emotion!  
  
But the violinist didn't come out. The audience had no choice but to disperse.  
  
The next day, the concert was mentioned in the newspapers. It praised the violinist. It praised the composer. It praised the orchestra. It praised the concert.  
  
The people cheer. But they don't understand. 


End file.
